Search Results: falling in love again

so we dated a bit but i was not in a good place for dating. intimacy issues which i've been working on. at the time though i thought it was the worst thing in the world to be in love and that was only for losers. i'm embarrassed by my previous thinking and i feel bd at how i just casually moved on. though i suspect i was already falling and this was part of a protective armor. 'if i'm disgusted by love i won't succumb to it' kind of thing.

anyhow we are friends now a year later. we were off speaking for a while, his choice which i totally understand. I don't know if he's forgiven me for being so insensitive or he's just chosen to ignore it. thing is i want to apologize. but i know i'm in love. i don't want to apologize BECAUSE i'm in love and want him. i want to apologize bc how i handled things was wrong.


is it even necessary to apologize if i've said i'm in love.. that can kind of explain weird behavior anyhow, right?

Again i don't feel threatened by saying i'm in love. so telling me not to say anything to protect myself is not helpful. i'm just trying to figure out what would make more sense objectively. i kind of want to get it out of the way, then if he still wants to be friends after that i'd feel comfortable apologizing. whereas not knowing if he's 'ok' with my being in love, i think it makes everything extra awkward.

i'm ok if he's not in love, its the feeling that he'd be pissed off or freaked out if he knew that bothers me but i know in the pats thats how I'D feel, so I don't know if i'm projecting there or not. I think telling him is like my way of forgiving myself for falling in love or even saying its 'ok'. giving permission. but would it be a terrible thing to do to him?

i think i answered my question but just wanted some outside perspective.

Both 23 by the way.

I've been talking to my boyfriend since June, and since we've met, and had our first kiss last month - we're in a relationship.
This isn't the only reason why I'm in a relationship, there's been romantic moments which just made me fall for him, like the first time we met he held my hand and was looking into my eyes, I could see how he felt for me, and before kissing me he put his hand flat against my chest feeling my heart beat fast, and told me I'm beautiful (maybe I'm just really falling for it, I don't know... but I find it romantic)

Anyway I'm really insecure because of my last relationship. I didn't even want to be in relationship ever again, but he crept up on me, he was talking to me everyday and night since June I guess I got attached.

The problem is that we barely talk on the phone anymore and he doesn't talk to me like he used to.

Like I said he would talk to me everyday and message me all the time, to go from that to not talking on the phone for 3 weeks just feels as if something is up - I've moved out for uni, I'm a 100 miles away - I'd expect there to be more contact because I'm far away.

Also he doesn't really message me much, sometimes it's a good morning, a bit of banter and goodnight. He's not romantic towards me as much as he used to be either. And the past two weeks when I message him (whatsapp) I can see that he's online but he doesn't open my message and goes offline then replies hours later even though he's been online in between, it makes me think he's talking to another girl, the attention he used to give me, he's giving it to someone else.

2 weeks ago (when all this started) I told him straight up that if he doesn't want to be with me then he's free to go, and I told him how I felt; that we don't talk anymore etc but then he says he loves me, doesn't want anyone else, that's why he's waited months to be with me etc and will make sure that we're still ok...

... But then he hasn't changed... it's making me really insecure and I hate it.

I mean people at that age mostly are married and having children. This girl I know is almost 27 and she is still single. She only had one boyfriend in her life and only dated for three months. I mean she's talked to other guys but it don't work out. Anyways she has been saying for five years now that she loves being single. Look she's pushing 30 and she really needa to start dating again and not regret not dating and having children if she wants to have them. Peoole shouldn't be afraid of commitment and I don't know why some people are. This girl I think she's afraid of commitment. She gets scared when a guy likes her and she pushes them away. That could have been her future husband. Everyone deserves love. She needs to start falling in love again and take a risk.
Everyone is going to get hurt. It's part of life. What do I go?