Search Results: fighting for a guy or girl

Incase you don't get my question. Let's say you and your girlfriend were on a break, then were on the road to getting back together when suddenly you start fighting and end it for good (your girlfriend tells you I'm done with you get out etc, tells you that you're no longer together). The next day you find yourself super drunk and hooking up with an old hookup. After this, you realize you want your girlfriend back and that you should've just worked out your problems. Do you tell her what you did while you were broken up? Or not say a word in the hopes that you have a chance of getting back together. Also if you're not young, put yourself in a 19 year olds place (aka not so mature). I'm asking because my boyfriend lied to me about this for an entire year. Then he finally admitted it to me. I understand we weren't together and immature and it's been so long and he's a changed guy, but I'm having a hard time accepting that he lied to me ( I did ask him multiple times before and he always said nothing happened). I know he was scared and knew he made a mistake and changed after that incident for the better and has never had contact with that girl again but that's not important to me, just the lying.

Assume:
- You have known him and have a 1 year relationship with him.
- She's known him 3 years, but lives out of state.
- She's 8 years older, significantly less attractive, and a single divorced mom of 2 kids.
- They had sex once but never dated before you met him. You only found out about it 6 months into the relationship because he blundered, but assume with 99% certainty you know they are not currently having sex nor do they have any plans to.
- He gives her money. (To help her with her divorce, to buy Christmas presents for her kids, to pay for her uninsured kids health expenses, and because she can't hold down a job to pay her own living expenses.)
- They have a very similar history with bad family relationships and life struggles so they "click"--in a "friendly" way.
- She allegedly "has no one else" because she's alienated from her family.
- They have both saved each other's lives (domestic abuse and drugs).
- He's attempted to fly her in from out of state to spend the weekend at his apartment without asking you.
- She's asked him for more money behind your back and told him not to tell you. He told you about once you guessed what she was after and why he was stressed/torn up.
- On your anniversary (over a holiday), he had made plans to head back to his home state (which you were ok with), but you specifically told him it would upset you if he spent your special day with her. He said okay, then did it anyway because his other friends bailed on him last minute and it was most convenient.

My boyfriend and I are fighting about this constantly. I feel like he's so very clearly in the wrong and no self respecting woman would put up with this, but maybe I'm the one in the wrong. I love him dearly and don't want to leave and I know his intentions are well, but I don't feel this is right. All my friends of course are biased in my favor, I just wanted to hear what strangers would think.