Search Results: selfish friend

EX broke up last month. Came back+said he didn’t want to lose me&thought he could get over me, but started drugs to feel better even though we were together for only 2 months+had been close friends for a year. he felt lost&said that he needs me. I said why did u let me go. He said bec we were different people +opposites never attract. he said that I had small flaws in my personality that made him feel guilty. he didn’t want to lose me as a friend. He wanted us to become friends like we were. He told me not to cry because that’ll make him weak.. he kissed me twice on my upper lip lightly& lingered a little. I said if he wanted friendship-kissing me is wrong. He also kissed me on my forehead several times, and on my hands twice. He grabbed my hand a lot as I sobbed. I said we should cut off contact for me to be able to see him as a friend bec I need to get over it. He flipped out+ said i will never be back. He asked how long, I said for as long as it takes to feel better.
when I got home he texted me saying he’s not sure whether or not he made the right decision. I said I respected his decision even if it meant that we won't be together. He said he needed me by his side I said I won’t leave, he also said he’s my man+ will remain that forever&that I am his lover, sister, mother and best friend& that he knows i was the only person who truly cared about him + was worried about him. He said he loved me several times. BUT he told my friend earlier that he wanted nothing more than friendship. She thinks he said that only bec he doubted she told me everything. I promised I will be back, but I don’t think I’ll be able to.. I think he lost me. He was too selfish with me, he said I did nothing drastic to ruin the relationship. He had been hurt from other women&has built a wall around himself for protection. He’s a big selfish taker, I am a HUGE supporter and giver. He knows& says that.

Is there a chance that he might come back? What did the kiss mean?

Gisela is 27 years old. Her father died when she was 15 and she had her first abortion at 16, then got pregnant again. She planned to get another abortion but her friends shamed her, called her evil, and told her how having two abortions is too many so she kept the baby and named him Jerry. Jerry's father left the picture when he was 6 months old. Gisela was in and out of homelessness, dated a ton of different dudes, and even sold herself for money a few times. Jerry grew up seeing this, it made him angry but he always made sure to keep a smile on his face and be nice to every new man she dated. Every week it seemed to be a new man, but Jerry tried his best. He learned how to cook, clean, dress himself, stay safe around strangers, and walk home alone at a very young age. Gisela often told Jerry he was selfish, ungrateful, a bad kid, and whenever he cried she said that big boys don't cry, stop bothering me with your issues. She also called Jerry a big baby whenever he cried or had an accident. When Jerry tried to talk to his mother and she was annoyed, she'd pinch his nose and he went away.

Does someone have to be aware that they are engaging in manipulative behavior for it to be manipulation? Do they have to have a negative or selfish intent? These questions comes from a personal issue where in a few of my past relationships the other person has called me a manipulator when I am expressing my honest feelings. I feel like they could be gaslighting me and actually trying to manipulate the situation themselves, by getting me to question my own thoughts and feelings. I believe that I am an honest person and that I would not force anyone into a situation that they didn't want to be in. But I know that I am not perfect and of course have my own wants and needs, and I feel like to an extent everyone manipulates. A mother could come up with sneaky ways to get their child to enjoy vegetables and even lie about ingredients, or a person could want to be friends with someone and fake an interest in something the other person likes to start a conversation with them and end up becoming best friends, or someone expressing their feelings could cause the listener to change their mind on an issue. Are these all forms of manipulation? Does it require lying or a want to hurt or control the other person? And does the manipulator need to be aware they are doing this to be at fault? I would love to hear any stories or examples of what you consider to be manipulation!