Search Results: dating two people at once

Just wondering if she is being nice, stringing me along, or what.

Known each other since late 2012. She used to give me all the signals. I was not available at the time and she met another guy. She hid him from me for quite a while and only brought him up after she "fell" for him. After that she continued to call me regularly. We talked about life in general. Once in a great while she would drop a nugget about the BF. Usually it was not positive.

He split with her earlier this year. We got closer. After a month of no action, he started "hanging out" with her to get his fix. But it never returned to being a full relationship. A month ago she found him on an online dating site and ended it for good.

She expressed even back when we met she jumps from one relationship to the next. How she never has lived life alone and independently. After this she has decided to change that.

Recently she was telling me about a guy she works with that helped fix her computer. She says "He is a great guy, but he has a crush on me. I am not leading him on as I hate when people do it." I told her what to say and that I kind of related to him. How it felt like he and I may be in the same boat with her. She said:

"You two are not even on the same ocean. I have no interest in him at all.

When my brother got married, I had several guys wanting to take me. But I asked you to be my date.

I call you. You never call me. There are tons of guys that want to call me, but I want to talk to you. So I do all the calling. You should feel lucky!

Even when we met I was the one that approached you. I asked for your number.

I love you, and I do not say that lightly. I just need to sort my life out and heal. I cannot love you the way you want right now, but in time I can open my heart up and love you completely. Give me time. I do not want to half ass this. We both deserve to approach it properly."

Said emotionally detached girl has not fallen for any guy before. Maybe she had a crush or two, but that was it.

She treats dating as a serious issue of commitment and trust, so she will refuse to date anyone until she is 100% certain that guy is the one she will marry. Hence no matter how hard a guy tries, she will never admit to liking him, or allow herself to like him.

She is INTP in the Myers-Briggs test, so she's emotionally detached. She doesn't appreciate romantic gestures. She doesn't express concern or interest for anyone or anything unless it's a topic that she really loves. So she seems distant or uncaring to others. Even her gal friends she will ignore or try to change topic if it's a boring topic.

And being INTP, she can be very blunt with her words. She is very direct in telling others about her insensitivity, so she can easily filter out people who wouldn't get along with her.

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Given all these emotional issues, do you think such a girl has any chance of "discovering romanticism"? Like... being able to feel true passion for a guy? Being able to soften her words, show concern for her guy?

Or would she still be the same girl as she is?

I'm going out with said girl, and I have my doubts. Right now my infatuation with her is overriding some of my doubts, but I fear once the honeymoon period wears off, or maybe even post-marriage, I might find her unbearable.