Search Results: going back to an ex

I wouldn’t snoop through my boyfriend’s phone without his permission. But I honestly feel like I can’t believe what he says because he’s lied to me and broke my trust. He’s recently started talking to a girl he slept with while were on a break, she doesn’t even qualify as an ex. He never wanted to date her and he made that clear. Yet she wanted a relationship with him and was very childish when she found out we were getting back together. I don’t mind if they’re just civil friends, but it does make me uncomfortable to think of them being too close and I don’t believe that’s just jealousy and insecurity talking. I believe if he’s in a committed relationship with me, there should be boundaries between them.

I asked him some time ago if they were talking again, and he lied to me. Then a week later I brought it up saying how uncomfortable it made me felt, and that’s when he decided to tell me. I was hurt. I have been cheated on before, and my ex used text to cheat. So I do have trust issues, but at the same time my current boyfriend is displaying the same behavior my ex did when he started cheating on me and I just can’t ignore it.

I asked if he could show me the texts to clarify there’s nothing going on, and he told me it was an invasion of privacy. But he broke my trust and our relationship is on the fence now. So he told me he’d think about it. I’m so confused, if he has nothing to hide then why would he not want to just show me and things could get back on track. But if he chooses to keep hiding things from me then obviously this relationship isn’t going anywhere.

So is it really controlling of me to ask for the texts? If so, what are some other options for us to work through this?

Sooo my ex and I dated for a little over 2 years. It was a pretty intense relationship. Afterwards, we never got back together officially but somehow managed to intervene in each other lives for at least another 2 years. For example, he would blocked me and than reach out a couple of months later. I would block him and than hook up with him.
Point is that since April of 2019, we haven’t really talked or hook up anymore. On July, I passed by his house and dropped off his things/things he gave me. But on the weekend of Thanksgiving I got drunk and sent an email saying something along the words “Happy Thanksgiving hope you, family and work is going/doing well and that I missed him”. I deleted this email so I don’t remember what I wrote. But on Jan 2 he replied something along the words “sorry for the late reply, and I hope that everything is going well for you and best wishes”. I proceded to asked if he can forward me the email, but he said he didn’t have it so he rephrased what I said, which is what I typed above. I know I emailed him, so the possibility that he is lying is off the table. But why did he reply now? More than a month later, after the new year.
(I also moved about 1100 miles away from him about 5 months ago) I happened to be in the area where he is from for Thanksgiving to visit family and friends.