Search Results: mental illness

-Lives with her father
-Won't let her baby daddy see his kid
-Takes medication for mental illnesses
-Is self-centered and she has very dubious friends
-Stole money and property from her last boyfriend and has financial difficulties

I've been dealing with serious mental health problems for years now. I said on G@G that I was making the appointment with the psychiatrist almost a month ago, but that never happened.

Within that month over a dozen times I would get to the website of my local mental health clinic and go to the schedule appointment page and try to fill it out, but then I bitch out. I'm still being held back by fear. I have thoughts of them not taking me seriously, accusing me of faking it, getting mad at me, making my illness worse, getting me hooked on drugs, taking away my rights, having to live with the stigma of being mentally ill, etc. All these thoughts race through my head and I end up clicking out of the page, then I feel so guilty. I tell people on G@G all the time I'm finally getting help, I'm finally getting help, I'm finally getting help, I'm finally getting help, but can never send my info to schedule the appointment. There's also been trouble with money and couldn't afford the co pay, there's been trouble with transportation with the weather and not having a ride, and not I'm under self quarantine due to COVID-19. I haven't given up on making that appointment, if anything I'm just not mentally ready, but yet I need it.

Is what I'm going through normal?
Do people usually delay their appointments?
Are my excuses valid?
Should I feel guilty about this?

Our country is in a state of national emergency with this corona virus, and they’re calling Trump racist for shutting down borders. They’re saying he doesn’t care about the people and only about the stock market. Fucking news flash dumbasses, our economy is very important and controls the over health of our country. When people’s life savings and assets are being stripped away at the age of 65 years old, that’s not good. When people start getting laid off, that’s not good. When people can’t collect their life-earned pensions, that’s not good. When people get laid off, and can’t afford their mortgages, that’s not good. If our economy collapses, that’s not good. Maybe he’s making great efforts to product our economy for the greater good of our country.

Democrats, are you that fucking petty to a point in which you’re going to label his efforts with ill-intent because he mentioned the Dow Jones and S&P500 absolutely plummeting in his speech first? Holy shit, they had a “physiatrist” diagnose Donald Trump with narcissism and like 12 different mental illnesses based on his speech patterns and body language within the 30 seconds of making his announcement. Do people actually watch this shit with a thumb up their ass and believe that this is credible news? How much a godamn sheep can you possible be?

The democratic party is becoming an absolute joke in my opinion. I usually keep it to myself, but even the democrats in my family are saying that this is a time in which we come together in unity and support our leader. They’re even finding this ridiculous. I just can’t anymore man lmao. Holy shit.

When our country is in a crisis, drop the petty antics and focus on unity. It’s not time to spread bullshit right now. It’s time to spread awareness and protect ourselves. I’m just overall disappointment in democratic party in general. I had a lot more respect prior to this year.

I ever got to decorate my room ever, even as a kid. I always had ideas but never bothered because my mental illness made me feel like I don't deserve it, because I'm a 21 year old loser who's currently unemployed and still living at home. I also live on my mom's allowance while I have a medical billing job in the works, I feel guilty spending the money she gives me on personal bullshit even though I end up spending it all on my food addiction anyways, I keep asking her if it would be alright and she always tells me "go ahead, focus on you" and she also tells me that if she didn't give me the allowance she would just waste that money on cigarettes and pot anyway. I take really good care of my room and clean it almost daily, even in the state that it's in. I had to get rid of the old carpet because my air conditioner leaked and caused a lot of water damage and we couldn't afford to rent a wet vac, and the guy ho sold it to us ghetto rigged the place and fucked up the original wood floor with linoleum and my floor looks disgusting, I'm so upset about it. My mattress is worn out and some of the springs are poking out.
So recently I said "fuck it" and just order things for my room. I have a folding table coming today which is going to be my new desk, and I'm going to use my current desk as a dresser. Later I'm getting some plastic drawer units to go under my desk and dresser for storage. I'm also getting a new mattress in the mail too. I'm going to save up money to get new carpeting. I'm finally getting my room decorated to my liking. Hell, I might just paint it as well. It's not going to be anything too expensive and fancy though. I'm not getting a new TV or anything like that since the CRT TV I have hasn't been plugged in for over a year and I prefer my computer and phone.

Do I have the right to upgrade my room?

I'm not saying I had the worst childhood in the world, but it wasn't goo either

I don't know who my biological father is, my first stepdad was a drunk who gave me the wrong perspective of the world mostly about women and black men. I was bullied in elementary school and I still deal with the scars. My mother never really helped with my personal problems as a child, she just got mad when I brought it up. I had no real friends, the friends I had in high school stopped inviting me to come after I left school and had fun without me, so I basically shut them out of my life. I watched my brother and sister get abused by their romantic partner and do drugs as a young child. When I was 13 my mother divorced my then stepdad and he took EVERYTHING, left my mother and I homeless for a bit and we were poor from then on, and my 2nd and current stepdad is on disability and doesn't get much.
I look back at my life now and realized that it was a total waste plagued by mental illness, rejection, ostracism and neglect. I never got to go on family vacations, play with the new video games, watch the cool TV shows, go to parties, go to events or any of that. So far my life has been me just waiting and hoping, 21 years of basically nothing. I remember how embarrassing it was going to school and listening to my peers talk about the cool things they got to do and I could only say "oh that's cool", I still remember the douchey kids laughing at me when I said that I did and had nothing. I know it may seem petty and materialistic but I can't seem to let it down. Mental illness basically swallowed me whole.
I'm planning on seeing a psychiatrist to get help so I can live a happy productive life. Can I have fun as an adult to make up for a depressing childhood?