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I tried to ask this another way but I don't think folks got what I was trying to say so I am going to try a different approach.

I am often telling women to accept men as men--to accept how they view the world and to make allowances for their fears and the things that make them truly wonderful and masculine.

However, on the flip side, I see a growing trend of males who will mock and ridicule girls for feminine insecurities and flaws. And we wonder why there is a rise in girls cutting themselves?

Here is a news flash dude--women are not men--they are women. If you want ladies to respect your need for space, and to love you even if you are thin, don't make a million dollars, or look like Brad Pitt can't yah give a girl an inch when she asks about how fat she looks in her jeans?

We ALL have things that worry us--and I am sorry, but women DO have a ton of pressure on them to look "hot" and not just from media perceptions. Men are by nature very visual. The fact that even deeply in love, committed men cannot help looking at beautiful ladies ( and who can blame them) shows that they enjoy pleasing physical views and shapes.

When a woman asks you if you find her attractive, she is saying she cares about pleasing you and keeping you around.

I mean, if she just let herself go and got fat and lazy, you'd be complaining about how she didn't do it for you any more, right?

Women make a ton of mistakes in the dating arena-- *raising hand* been there, done that bought the t-shirt. Another news flash--men make dating mistakes too.

I grew up, lucked up and married a great NICE guy! He has insecurities about being five one, but I do not roll my eyes and tell him to get over it or act as if he is an insecure basket case. I nurture and love him and remind him of all the wonderful qualities he has that makes me kiss the ground he walks on. To me, he is ten feet tall and no one can touch him--he is my hero, my rock and my one true love.

I give him what he is seeking—validation and reassurance. Why not? What does it cost me to do this?

Stop trashing women for wondering if you desire them of if they wonder if they look fat or seek compliments—feel happy that she cares enough to want to look good and attractive for you and make sure you always knows that she is an angel in your eyes.

In time, her insecurity will cease and you will have built a solid relationship built on respect for her femininity and her fragile humanity.

We are different by design and this okay--instead of complaining about it accept and love it--men and women are special beings and need to learn to accept even the things that drive us crazy about one another.

1. I have seen guys ask why their girl gets mad if they check out other chicks and see the same guys say how they hate it if their girl says a guy looks hot.

2. I have heard men laugh at girls for asking if they look fat while they constantly obsess about their penis size.

3. I even dated a gut who was very thin who was so sure I wanted a beefcake (which I didn't) that we had an argument almost everyday about it ( I hate overly muscular builders they look disgusting to me and yet he just wouldn't let it go.)

Believe it or not all of us, not just women, have things we worry over or obsess about. Thing is, men will tell women to make a guy feel good about his penis size, or the fact he likes porn, while telling girls to get over their own insecurities or inadequacies because they feel it means the woman has "issues" and it is "unattractive."

Or could it be that these very guys, who wish to have all of their concerns addressed just do not want to deal with a woman and her own just as valid concerns...

In the end, we all have demons and baggage to deal with that deserve respect and care, none of us, myself included, are exempt.

Guys--women do not corner the market on insecurity or jealousy issues.

Instead of acting all superior maybe just maybe we will try to understand these issues because WE ALL suffer from them and are imperfect beings.

I am constantly striving to tell women in my articles to understand their partners inherent maleness, to give them space, to let them watch porn, to give the the same understanding for masculine rituals as males may give us for feminine ones.

Women who have taken my advice have been happier and so have their mates.

But can a man adopt this ability to empathize and give a woman an inch of breathing room for her human frailties?

Yes, I am bit peeved at this trend to mock women for their issues when men suffer from them too--people in glass houses...

Is this possible that we can step back and analyze this to come to a greater accord, because if we can't, male and female communication may be doomed...?