Search Results: forgiving after cheating

Back in March last year I started looking up how to cheat on my bf of 3 yrs. & I felt bad that I'd look it up because I did love him to death, but I was going through a very dark time and everything was just confusing.. then in Oct I started sexting the one person he always begged me not to talk to, his brother, because he always tried to steal girls away from him. I did it at first as a joke just to mess around with his bros head, but eventually I came to really like the attention and I wanted to sleep with him. but I never went as far as to see him in person because I couldn't bring myself to meeting him in person or doing that to my bf. time past and he didn't know anything, it only lasted about a week. Then by April I developed a crush on a childhood friend, but that didn't go anywhere and my bf found out and forgave me saying "it's normal to wonder what could of been, what's important is to leave it at that." And by may I had a crush on a coworker and started to really want to cheat on him, I was telling people we weren't together anymore and my bf had no idea, I told friends that I was already cheating on him even though I wasn't yet, and they gave me their support. one day he came home in the middle of the night and found out about the last crush I had and woke me up to confront me, I told him that that was over and I was sorry it even happened but that there was nothing else. then the next day he found out what I told other people. Then after he found out about his bro cause he started looking stuff up and spying on me. and even after it all and that I kicked him out for a month, he still loves me to death and wants 2 forgive me for everything and move on, he doesn't even act mad, says he's just upset and disappointed in me and feels betrayed. And even to this day he found out I had tinder (I only wanted to make new friends) but he said you don't make friends there it to meet guys.
But says if I hangout with a guy or anything, its 100% over

What do i do?

Okay so i'll try to make this quick. my boyfriend and i have been together for 2 1/2 years. it's been very rocky. he cheated on me once and i chose to forgive him but i mean after that there's been situations with other women like texting but I'm not sure if flirting. anyway. i don't trust him and he's in vegas with his cousin that i don't trust him around. well, a couple weeks ago i found a text from a girl from school in his phone talking about going to a lake with them two, his cousin and friends. i found it and got pissed and he made excuses and said he was inviting her for his cousin, who also had a gf. anyway he wasn't planning on going. last week i found a text to his friend saying he was going with her to vegas and i got pissed and he said he just wanted to seem cool. and i told him to prove he isn't going by messaging the girl and seeing what she said. fast forward to today, he told me repeatedly that he wasn't going to meet up with her, and that she knows he has a gf. well, i just found out he lied. a lot. he met up with her because she got him and his friend into a pool party and supposedly thats it. but this chick, when he posts something of me on his instagram, she does not like it. and she blocked me on instagram and made her Twitter private after i told my bf i saw it. i mean if he didn't lie about meeting up with her just for that, then, i would have been mad but not as mad as i am now. he told me all day he wasn't around her and then i go on somebody's instagram thatcs that is her friend and is with her and and there my boyfriend is in the background with his friends. so i caught him. hes' done so much shady things starting last year. i have no trust in him. he's lied so many times. i love him a lot but come on. oh did i mention i messaged the girl to see whats going on and she didn't even reply. well yeh I don't know what to do. i tried trusting him and found out he was lying.