Search Results: is friends with benefits bad

I told him I'm starting to have feelings and thoughts I shouldn't, that I felt this wasn't a friendship anymore, that I'll always want the best for him and that I love him (as a friend, even though I have romantic feelings for him)

He answered: koala bear, I never want you feeling like that, I mever want you to feel bad, I didn't expect you would tell me this, you know I get worried and I get uncomfortable talking about this... LET'S TAKE THINGS SLOW, AND EVEN STOP HAVING SEX, WE CAN STILL TALK AND HAVE CONVERSATIONS FROM TIME TO TIME. I never ever want you to be unhappy.

We've known each other for almost 4 years, we used to date at the beginning but both of us weren't ready.

At the beginning of last year, things started to change.
-he became more "lovey dovey"
-said he gets nervous around me
-bought me gifts
-texted me while he was out of the country
-didn't wanted me to leave
-accepted he was jealous that I dated other guys


But for the last months of 2017, he changed more
-he has opened up to me ENTIRELY (just not how he feels about me)
-accepted he had feelings for me at the beginning (which I think and feel he still has)
-says we have a connection
-said he wanted to change and he looked for help (as in therapy for the issues he has)
-says I'm the only one he can talk to
-says I know who and how he is and that he has surrendered to me
-asked if my dad knew about us being "VERY good friends" (he met him at the beginning and my dad didn't approved of him and told him, I belive he was looking for reassurance for that if my dad knew we were friends it was a greenlight)
-sais he's thought about a relationship but gets nervous and backsoff (didn't say with me, but I felt he was talking about us)

Okay well I didn’t plan on this happening but I live with my abusive boyfriend who I don’t love but am scared to leave. He hit me one day and told me to find someone else. I did that and met my coworker. We started just as friends with benefits. It was nice at first he had an ex girlfriend who basically is abusive Nd fights girls he tries to talk to. I am still living with my abusing boyfriend. Then we started to fall in love. We started catching feelings both of us started getting jealous but then I guess one day it just clicked we had feelings for eachother, he can’t express himself so he never fully says what he thinks. He started getting jealous over my boyfriend and I told him I liked him and wanted him. It is bad to cheat I know but it felt like I needed to talk to him it felt like time stopped all around me when I met him. He just kinda beats around the bush and will say he wants to be with me. I then told him I’m really depressed and he said why are you depressed when you have me now? He then doesn’t really answer my calls and texts and it’s just like he says he wants me but then acts a different way on social media and texting. I can’t help but feel love. I don't know why this happened this way