Search Results: scared to be honest

how long do i have to wait, bc i would like to move on if here's no chance but, i dont want to rush into a relationship.

i feel like if i tell him now and i explain im not ready to jump into something, he won't understand why i dont want to be with him,

OR he will think i expect to be with him and get scared off.

i also dont want to become a person who just thinks about HOW THEY FEEL AND NEVER DOES ANYTHING ABOUT IT.

we dated a month, i had never been into anyone nor dated. I was not ready for the feelings i had and i said i just anted be friends but then we both avoided each other.

then we tried hanging out but there was a lot of tension then undercurrent of animosity and we were anything but friends.

then a cooling off and we have been friendly for the past few months. we hang out together with friends.

almost went out a few times but we each had an excuse each time. my feelings are still there.

i don't want to ruin everything again b y getting in over my head, i STILL have no experience dating. or being in love, but i am, so a bit late to be worrying about that- so I don't know what to do.

also i want to see what happens if i'm honest. what kind of person he is and if he can handle it. and likewise, what kind of person i am and if i can handle it.

I met my boyfriend over the internet. He is reasonably attractive and he is an army ranger. We have connected and he has fallen deeply in love with me after 1 year of speaking and meeting up. He has talked about marriage and kids while I am always scared of commitment. He talks about children and I feel deeply uncomfortable talking about it. He wants a lot of children while I do not want any. I also do not want to marry him because I don't think I can marry the military. It is a big commitment. I don't want to be a part of his army buddies, I don't want to attend his military balls and I don't want to speak to other military girlfriends because of unnecessary drama. Also, I don't want to worry about him while he is deployed so that my performance in work would be affected. But I play along and talk about kids and marriage.

You may be asking why I'm with this guy? I need him for emotional support. He is my rock and I constantly lean on him or rant out frustrations about training and work. He did a lot for me while I did very little for him. I want this relationship to continue until I am able to stand up on my feet. And then I might break up and find another person in my league in terms of work (a professional).