Search Results: love language

Of course none of us want to be around people who say one thing but mean another. Or who don't follow up on what they say, and are essentially not being honest about what they intend to do (either not honest with you, or not honest with themselves.) But I do believe people have an innate preference for either words or actions.

If one believes more strongly, or is better at one than the other, themselves, they may tend to also appreciate/look for that in other people, as well. To a lesser degree, people can value, in others, what they, themselves, lack.

But the complexity and vastness of language also cannot be minimized or devalued. Being able to articulate how you feel, what you think, what you believe is an immensely powerful thing. And to be the recipient of such words, such honesty, is one of the fabrics of society.

Yet there are some people who are not able to physically do as much to express their care or concern for other people, but can through words (I know someone who is very disabled, for instance, but who likes to talk on the phone and be supportive that way.)

There's also a famous book (which I haven't read), 'The 5 Love Languages', which gets referenced a lot. Some people in relationships prefer 'acts of service' and for others it's words. (There's also physical touch, quality time, and gifts. But that's another topic.)

Thoughts?

I have been seeing someone for coming up on 4 months that I am seeing between 1-2x a week. This didn’t bother me at first, but I’m starting to question if he actually wants to date me. All the other people I have dated wanted to spend as much time as possible with me. There were a couple weeks we didn’t see each other and 2x he left the country for 2 weeks and didn’t tell me until the week of. I told him at 2 months I wasn’t sure if I was someone of actual interest or to help pass time. The amount I see him hasn’t changed even after making the point my love language is quality time. He is older and I’m not sure if he has ever had a proper relationship, but I can’t continue to see myself with someone who doesn’t want to spend enough time for me to actually get to know them. Am I overthinking this?