Search Results: should i have sex with im

i've known him for 6 months. met through friends, he asked about me and i asked about him after we met. so we both kind of knew the other was interested when we began hanging out but we still went slow.

he was walking me home last night and before i left he took my hand, we looked at each other then he kissed me.

then he told me hed been interested for a long time and was hoping we could get to know each other, i said we are doing that.
he said yeah but like be together.
i asked if he meant to date, he blushed and said yes. date.
(i dont get why kissing is easier than just saying he wants to date)

anyhow we walked for a while and i put my hand on his arm and he tightened up and kind of moved away, i just kept walking thinking i imagined it. when we got to my house he kissed me.
then i hugged him more bc i wanted to know if hed be ok with it but also bc i wanted to.
he did not hug back and stiffened up then put his hands on my shoulder -basically pushing me away while holding on, confusing- and told me to call him , and asked if i would.
I said yes, but i was really confused. i am.

i do think he genuinely likes me, how can i date him if i can't touch him. and why can he kiss but can't touch otherwise. i dont understand. and even if i did, im not sure that would help. i dont see how this can work. its not as if he was trying not to move too fast sexually, i mean it was just a hug plus i hugged him so how can he be worried, so it must be he does not like touching or is uncomfortable- but why would he want t date if he does not like touch? he should do hook ups or friends with benefits. im assuming hell want sex, hell have to touch me then, so i dont get it.


he's done things like touch my hand or my arm or my forehead before he said anything about dating, its like he got worse after. i dont get it.

does anyone relate to his behavior? or any suggestions.

I have noticed a lot of negative reactions to telling people how you feel-if you feel love. Even though posts are always about being honest with your feelings --unless you're in love, then lie.

If a person says they want to tell someone, people just argue against it when it doesn't even have anything to do with them.
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I think if a person has the will ad hope to tell someone the truth then they should be encouraged. I get if it individuals feel cowardly towards it themselves, but to act like its important wisdom to threaten against it for someone else, is odd.

i always encourage people to be honest especially when they already want to lol

i get if if they have known them 3 days and are delusional. but i've seen posts from people in love for yours , getting responses like well maybe hint you like him / her. or don't expect him/ her to like you you might scare them off.

im pretty sure anyone going to say they are in love has definitely considered it won't be reciprocated, especially if they are discussing it before hand. AND if its not reciprocated, well, isn't it BETTER to know and move on instead of waiting around bc you are afraid to be honest?

its not as if rejection improves over time, you just waste time, falling deeper in love... What is the point?

you certainly get rid of players and sex scavengers, plus opposite of it weakening your position. being honest off the bat takes away controlling element. there is, in relationships an often unspoken threat that someone will be the first to fall or worse SEEM like they have fallen in love and 'you know how people get'. well if you are upfront is no longer a mystery. its there and nothing crazy is happening. they can't hold over you that you might fall in love.

I am a virgin and never dated, though i'm 20. long story doesn't really matter now. Anyhow i became acquainted with Toby 23 months ago. He asked me out but at the time i thought that meant sex i didn't realize you could just date and get to know each other, so i said no. We have spent a lot of time together bc of mutual friends. We have ended up around each other a lot and shared some personal moments before things got weird. After it became awkward i figured its bc he has feelings for me, OR bc he realizes i have feelings for him and is uncomfortable. I have not been able to talk about my interest bc my feelings are stronger than i want, and i was hoping they'd die down a bit then id ask him out casually. Im pretty much in love, i don' treally care about the precise definition, i just know id feel his absence profoundly and i can't befriends bc i am self conscious about how i feel. I guess if i thought he was ok with my feelings i could befriends but i might not like it.

Anyhow bc of how i feel i reject other guys but i have not done a thing about Toby. and i realize im stuck. I did not mean to halt anything but thats happened. I don't think id feel comfortable dating knowing how i feel knowing it might bother him, bc id feel pressured to hide or id be at the mercy of how he 'might' feel. i want to be in an honest situation esp since its my first experience. So, i will either just date other people, OR tell him how i feel and see if he wants to date. I don't really care about rejection bc i think it'd be better than this. I just know once i tell him ill most likely feel silly but not bc of rejection , but bc love is awkward. I think id feel worse dating others without him even knowing, bc if he did want me hed just feel like i dont care.