Search Results: don't want to be alone

Well I don't know how to start this : but last year me and my boyfriend started living together in October and we every holiday together until may.
In may I decided to go down for 2wks to my grandparents house. Which i haven't seen them for over 10 years. . it was all Good
Well then July came. And me and my boyfriend decided it was time for me to go back down there again so they can help me get some help.
Well.. it was horrible
Not even the week was over and they started drama saying

I should break up with my boyfriend because of this and that
My grandmother, aunt , cousin was talking go my mother who I have protection order against. And they put me in danger
They lied to me and my boyfriend

So yea my boyfriend helped me come back home.
In the middle of Oct. And my grandmother sent a package basically a sorry package. It had like candy , hygiene, journal , pens , etc in it. She also called us to let us know some things.

But I forgive them and I miss them however I dont want them to keep putting me in danger , and keep trying to break me and my boyfriend up and etc

So i guess my question is
Should i spend Thanksgiving, Christmas, etc with my family and my birthday is In Feb so I don't know if that helps or not

Or with my boyfriend

But I also love my boyfriend. Because he cares , protects me , provides and so much more.

But it breaks my heart because I dint wanna leave my boyfriend alone for the holidays
But I also even after all the crap they did wanna be with my family for the holidays.
But I don't know

I hurt my boyfriend nd really want him back he feel ashmed of me of things i have said when i m drunk nd dont even remembered i truly love him he want a brake from me. I dont want to go away from him i love him nd can't see him going away from me. he said he canot trust me nd van not forgive me but he loves me so he asked me to respect him nd he want me to leave him alone.