How I Know That I Should NOT Be Married! 👀

[Ellie-V]

To be perfectly clear, I am only talking and referring to myself and what is best for my life. I am sharing this because there are some people out there who are not sure about what they want out of life (romantically) or at least...they are questioning 😂 so I hope my perspective can be a little helpful or enlightening in some way.

Companionship comes in many forms

Seriously. There are several types to choose from... and I don’t see why I should have to give into pressure from friends, family, and society who expect me to pursue companionship for the rest of my life.

There are lovers, platonic relationships, acquaintances, friends, soul-mates, and team mates. Any of those could be enough for me and I have the right to pick and choose what I want as long as it’s not physically hurting anyone else.

That means I also get to reject whatever I want (in this context), and I choose to reject the lifelong romantic lovers deal...

So far, my goals have remained consistent

I can say that I’ve always known who I wanted to be and what I wanted to do since I was a little girl. Of course some of my side hobbies have changed and you know...LIFE has kind of forced me to figure out an adjustable plan for myself.

But no matter how much the small details have changed, my big goals have always been consistent and right now I am on the right path. My future is bright and I cannot wait to get started in my field! And marriage was never apart of that. I wasn’t one of those girls planning a wedding at age 5. Instead, I was one of those girls who was planning out an academic future at 5 😂

To be clear, just because I want to pursue a career doesn’t mean I’m super concerned about money and financial stability. This is not about financial independence vs family.

Sex...

I do understand and recognize that marriage is supposed to be about so much more than sex and physical intimacy...BUT!!! Sex is still a really big deal and a lot of times the sex can make or break marriages. I do not want to feel obligated to have sex with someone. I don’t want to have to force myself to open my legs just to fulfill a contractual agreement. I don’t want to sign up for some weird form of rape 😂 If I am not in the mood, that’s it. Yes, so many people would say I’m selfish...and I don’t disagree 😂🤷🏾‍♀️

Man or Woman...you will not have entitlement to MY body. I just believe that if two (or more👀😂) people are going to share their bodies, BOTH should want to in that moment. There are plenty of people who feel sexually unfulfilled in the marriage because the other person doesn’t give it to them...and I don’t want to have to deal with that. Because I know me. I don’t find sex necessary for my life, so it would not be fair to someone else if I were to marry them and deprive them of what they consider needs.

I’m not asexual or anything. I like sex, I do have sexual attractions. But I don’t feel the need to act on anything. Sex is like candy...I’m okay without it😂

Children are lovely but they may not be my reality

I mentioned before that LIFE kind of forced me to plan out my life...in somewhat unexpected ways.

I got sick...long story short...I cannot have biological children anymore.

A lot of times, people in a marriage believe that in order to complete their picture of family, they must have children. I am a lover of all people, but I lean more towards women generally. Hypothetically, If I were to marry a woman, adopting wouldn’t be as big of a deal. But if I were to marry a man, then it would be slightly more of an issue. I don’t know why, but it seems like dudes want bio kids more than women. They seem to care more about passing down dna a little more than women.

But anyways...there aren’t a lot of people (that I’ve come across) who want to get married and not have children at all. And that’s the thing—I still want kids. I’m just not concerned about marriage.

i don’t need or want a romantic companion to have an adoptive child. There are plenty who disagree with single parenting, but I don’t really care 😂 I’m not retarded. I understand what it takes to raise a child. And I believe someday I will meet that criteria, and when I’m ready, I will happy to go on that journey *alone*. One parent is much better than none at all.

But again, I am not retarded. I’m not dumb or stupid or incompetent. Adoption is hard. It is long and costly. There is a good possibility that I will not meet all of the criteria it takes to adopt a child alone in the eyes of the government. So, even though I may want to adopt, I still may not be able to. There are not a ton of people I know who wouldn’t even be willing to entertain a single mother or a woman who doesn’t even plan on being a mother eventually.

and I’m 100% okay with that reality.

*i also do not want to compromise how to raise MY child...varying opinions are appreciated but that doesn’t mean I’ll listen 😏*

I do not have what it takes to be in a long term relationship

I would definitely put my own goals before the relationship, therefore I don’t need to be in one 😂

I have had two serious relationships, even though I am 23 😋

One ended terribly, the other ended wonderfully.

From both experiences, I can acknowledge that my feelings dont last long enough to satisfy the other person. I will listen to your problems, empathize, nurture, and soothe you all day...AS A FRIEND 😂 maybe even a lifelong friend. But not as a lover, not for long.

I also do not want to cater to anyone’s ego. People love to feel needed, I do too... but I don’t have the patience or the compassion to entertain that in a standard relationship.

So many things could change but...I doubt it will

Pretty self explanatory... I change my mind all of the time!!! But not about big things. I could be totally transformed as a person 20 years from now with a completely different mindset. And I will embrace that change when/if that occurs. But I doubt it will have anything to do with marriage. I’m young, yes. But I’m also a strong willed, independent thinker. So we shall see 👀

[Gottabsavagee]

I hate reading long paragraphs but yours was interesting. Thanks for sharing these...

I also don’t know if I’ll ever find the one for me. I’ve tried so many times and it never works out. Sometimes it’s my fault sometimes theirs. It always just lasts few months. I only had one relationship that lasted for a year but it was a long distance one and he came to me only twice (both for a month time).

Yet this one didn’t work out either... I am really hopeless now. I feel nauseous seeing how many people are happy in a relationship and I am just struggling here. I’d want a solid relationship for anything but nah, I am unlucky.

[fay23]

Is this your first my take? It's an interesting perspective. Marriage isn't for everyone nor isn't the end goal in life. I think that legal side of it is a hassle especially when it comes to divorce. I personally want to be married one day.

[Ellie-V]

No, it’s not my first mytake. And thank you for your response ☺️

[fay23]

No problem, I had so much trouble trying to get back to you lol. Even though I saw you replied for some reason I couldn't click on here. Weird.

[Ellie-V]

If you’re using the app, then yeah you may have that problem

[MrOracle]

Hey, good for you that you've figured out what works for you. Nothing wrong with that.

Obviously other people have different experiences and desires, and there's nothing wrong with that either.

You are doing the right thing by knowing who you are and what you want and being honest and up-front about it. Kudos.

[Ellie-V]

Thank you ☺️

[Massageman]

Be thankful that you figured out what works for you by the age of 23. Many people in their 30's, 40's or older still haven't gotten it figured out. If it floats your boat, start sailing.

[ragequeen]

Wow this is describing me to a T. Well written and very insightful! I enjoyed reading it. I would love to adopt someday and I do not feel the urge to get married. I also have strong academic skills and goals. They too have remained consistent!

[winterfox10]

you're 17... what the hell does anyone know about consistency at 17?

[ragequeen]

You obviously didn`t

[Logorithim]

Very Good Take, and it's good that you know what you want and that you realize that getting married is not for everyone.

[NeglectedChild]

You sound like Monica from friends that time she wanted a baby.

I don't think getting married would be a wise decision, at least atm. But I didn't hear anything about how marriage ain't right for you.
You listed sex as a reason and how you're not willing to give it up which will leave your spouse unfulfilled but that's problematic for any relationship, not just a marriage. Surely your spouse would be more understanding than say a friend with benefits.
What if you married someone who was like you or who wasn't to fussed about sex at all.

When it comes to kids, again what if your spouse was on the same page as you and liked the idea of adoption. What if they're a woman, two women can't make a baby...

You say you're career oriented but you're saying that now, the older you get the more important family becomes. A solitary life, a life without family and children will leave you feeling barren. People on their deathbed never say "oh I wish I made more money and worked longer hours".

These are just some things I found contentious, there are more but I'll spare you. I'm not saying I think you need to get married or that it's for you I'm just pointing out the flaws in your arguments as they're untenable.
Also I hate it when people say "if it doesn't hurt anyone", that's not a moral foundation, it's an extremely flawed principle. Stop it.

You say you know what you want but I don't think you do. You also don't sound like an independent thinker, this all sounds like a response to your nagging mother.

[Ellie-V]

I don’t watch friends😂

I have explained that it’s not right for my life but maybe I didn’t make myself clear enough

I was also referring to relationships in general. They’re just not for me. I’m not interested in it and my point about sex is that everyone I know values sex more than I do. So I doubt that I’ll come across someone who will be okay with my lack of enthusiasm.

I don’t want to raise a child with another parent.

I did say that my mind could change and that it probably will, but I doubt marriage will be something to reconsider

I don’t really care about money. That doesn’t motivate me. I want a career, not a job.

Also, this is not some argumentative essay. I wasn’t arguing against marriage or relationships as a whole. It’s just not something I want it need.

My mom hasn’t influenced my decisions about marriage or relationships.

[NeglectedChild]

I don't mean your literal mother, I'm referring to peer pressure.

I think you're putting the cart before the horse. Most people enter a relationship and or get married only after they have build a foundation. You choose to marry someone based on whether or not they're right for you. That's pretty much the idea of dating, you're getting to know someone.

I would argue that purposefully raising a child alone is unfair to the child. One reason is that you're depriving them of either a mother of father, which are both fundamentally necessary.
It is possible to raise a child by yourself but it is not ideal or right.

What's so great about a career? Every pursuit in life is a pursuit for happiness, the question is (marriage and relationships aside) will devoting your life to your career bring you happiness and leave you fulfilled or simply content?

You don't watch friends? wuuut?

[Ellie-V]

I do believe in foundational relationships. But I’d rather have that in a platonic form

One parent is better than none at all.

Devoting myself to my career would fulfill me when it’s all said and done. But that’s just me personally—I cannot speak for anyone else.

Right now, I can say I’m just content with life. I’m in school, im stable, and im in the process of moving things along in my chosen career.
But once I’ve actually gone through and accomplished those career goals, that’s when I’ll be able to say I’ve done all I needed to do and I’m 100% okay with dying—with a smile 😊

[Ellie-V]

And yeah... friends... I hate that show 😂 it’s dry and boring.

[NeglectedChild]

It's possible to have a platonic marriage and or long term relationship with a strong foundation.

One is better when the alternative is neglect, assuming the parent is competent. However two is better than one. What sense does it make to raise a child alone and on purpose.

Also if you put your own goals before others who's to say you won't put your career over your child?

Is it your career that gives you happiness or the fact that you're working towards it? What if it was taken away from you?

[NeglectedChild]

Dry and boring? how dare you.
What do you watch then?

[Ellie-V]

It makes sense for me because I won’t be having a “lover” 😂
I could decide to raise a child with a friend but that is totally unrealistic and stupid

Yes, I put my career before almost everyone I know. But part of my career is working with children.
And I value kids much more than I value any adult, including myself.

My career itself is what would give me total happiness.
And if it were all taken from me, which it will someday... I will have my (progressing😂) health, my friends, my dogs, my love, and (possibly) my kid

Friends sucks! I’m sorry 😂
I watch Chewing Gum, The Good Place, The Sinner, Scandal, Vampire Diaries, Gotham, Heroes, Gilmore Girls, Gossip Girl... and more, but those are just the ones that are in my current rotation. I also enjoy certain cartoons.

[NeglectedChild]

It's still unfair to the child.
Which would you value more, your child or you career?

And what's more important to you family or career?
Seems problematic.

You think friends is dry and boring and you watch Gilmore girls (you kinda remind me of rory ngl). Aight, the good place is pretty sick, I can agree with that.
Heroes? what is this 2006?

[Ellie-V]

I don’t think it’s unfair, but we’ll just have to agree to disagree on that.

I’d obviously choose my kid over my career if somehow they felt neglected by me
I don’t see why I can’t do both. But my plan is to be nearly complete in my career before having a child anyway

Family is obviously more important than my career... but again... there’s no reason why I can’t have both because I could always incorporate the two if I wanted 🤷🏾‍♀️

Gilmore girls is the shit. I don’t care what you say 😂 yes, it starts off really slow... but it’s worth the binge!
And ya... The Good Place is probably one of the best comedies on tv rn in my opinion

[Ellie-V]

Also, 2006 was great, thank you very much. I can never get tired of Heroes

[NeglectedChild]

But you can state the reasons why you don't think it's unfair. I don't like this agree to disagree business, I have an obsession with making sense lol

You can have both but my question is if it's your career that gives you ultimate satisfaction or happiness then a child taking precedence could mess with that.

Gilmore girls is far dryer than friends, I don't get why it looks so old though if it's from 2000, looks like it's from 1994.
What was so good about 2006?

And vampire diaries? pssht I bet you watch teen wolf too.

[Ellie-V]

I don’t believe it is “unfair” because single parenting can be great for what it is—the reason why it has such a bad stigma is because a lot of single parents don’t exactly plan to set themselves up for that position. I am planning ahead, thinking rationally. And because I cannot have children of my own, I don’t have to worry about some random pregnancy. I will make sure to have all of ducks in a row before even going into the adoption process, as you are supposed to. What’s unfair is giving a child a life set up for failure. Single parenting doesn’t automatically equate to failure—ignorance and lack of preparation does.

Yes, my career will give me ultimate satisfaction/happiness. But I still want a child IF it’s possible. I’m not relying on adoption to make me happy, that’s just more of a bonus.
A child wouldn’t really get in the way of what I want to do because again, Most of my goals will have already been reached before I start taking the steps to have a child

[Ellie-V]

I’ve never seen teen wolf, it looks really lame from the previews

[NeglectedChild]

Yes, single parenting where the parent is competent can work but my point is that it's not as ideal as having two competent parents male and female. I believe both are necessary and a child will benefit far more.
Children with two parents both male and female out perform in education and career children from single parent homes and are less likely to fall into crime. You're also depriving them of either a mom or a dad.

I wonder why that is, what's your career?

Thank you, that show is garbage, now you're starting to make sense

[winterfox10]

This is fairly typical for a girl in her early 20s, I only have 2 points as a response.

1. It's good that you are being honest with yourself.

2. Everybody has a plan until they get punched in the face. So, as nice as it is to have determination, make sure you have a fall back position. By definition, most people are average, and the odds are no where near in your favor. I'm an entrepreneur, so trust me when I say that I've lived this.

My girlfriend actually said the exact same thing as you, when she was in your position a couple years ago (I'm assuming that you are in college, about to graduate soon, etc). Interesting thing though, she chased her dream out of college, insanely high GPA, got a great job working in an Optometrist's office, and began to apply for Optometry schools... But then life grabbed her by the hair, threw her into a wall, and then repeatedly kicked her in the clam with steel-toed boots as she slid down the grody, tiled walls of a subway station's bathroom. She did NOT, in fact, get into Optometry school. Even though she had an amazing GPA, and phenomenal work experience.

So not even a month later, she reached out to me and we started an amazing relationship.

[Ellie-V]

Me and your girl do not have similar dreams

[winterfox10]

What's your goal, may I ask? Med School and Optometry School are tough to get into, for sure...

[Ellie-V]

I’ve already made it into my dream school...
And my dream involves kids

[Ellie-V]

My goals* involve kids

[winterfox10]

No no, I mean are you planning to be a Doctor, Lawyer, etc?

[Ellie-V]

Nope

[Ellie-V]

I’d sooner kill my self 😂

[winterfox10]

I feel yah! You aren't even going to give me a general hint?

[Ellie-V]

I’ll be helping other people’s dreams come true

[Ellie-V]

You can call me a professional fairy god mother

[winterfox10]

Oh come on, that's not even a hint... I'm a Filmmaker... are you a celebrity that you can't just give me a specific career?

[Ellie-V]

I’m working Theater prod.

[Rexnine9]

Great look into the the mind of a very flaky, wounded, weak minded person of limited intelligence. She is probably tremendously good looking or well-off. That's the only source I can Imagine for her tremendous overconfidence.

She's actually a little underdeveloped for a 23 year old. She says she has a plan. But writes absolutely nothing about what it is. She only seems to have a grasp of a few unremarkable things she doesn't want. In the same thought she's insists she's tremendously loving, empathetic and soothing. Yet in on breath later she has little compassion in her personal relationships. Oh, she loves to
Feel needed. But has no patience or willingness to cater to anyones ego.

I'm sorry I'm feeling I'll.
This chick is a box of
mismatched screws
Stacked on top of a box
Of contradictions. Unortunately, she is really limitimg her options of Already limited choices. My head is dizzy. Now I am going to be sick. There's nothing here to discus. She thinks sex in Marriage is akin to rape. r the.
OH LOARD. WE NEED YOU.

[ragequeen]

She is living her life in happiness, let her do that. All power to her, and if she changes her mind, she will. She is not less of a person just because she has a different view of love and partnership

[Ellie-V]

I am not tremendously good looking or well off as you put it. I think I am attractive but I’m no model honey 😂

I do have a plan, but the plan itself is irrelevant therefore I didn’t feel the need to elaborate on it.

I do consider myself loving and empathetic. I just don’t translate all that in a romantic relationship. I already said I’d do all that for friends (and children).

I do like to feel needed but I don’t demand it. I don’t expect anyone to kiss my ass. That’s not how life works 😂

I do not think sex in marriage is akin to rape. You have misunderstood me.
Putting myself in the position where I have no choice to but have sex even though I don’t want to would feel something like rape FOR ME.

[Rexnine9]

@ragequeen
Different ways? well on that's right.

[Rexnine9]

Well,.

I figured I would get an earful for my response.

To Ellie,
It's normal to have passion at your age. But I need never said you were a bad person. I implied you were confused.
And that's OK.

[Ellie-V]

You believe I am confused, but I am not.

[Rexnine9]

I'm sorry. If you were writing a Position essay; you should have stuck to your unfavourable position on conventional😠.😠 marriage, and your fear of emotional intImacy. (reciprocal obligations). You obviously don't trust men. You have no use for sex. 2 or 3 to short reasons for each; And you would've been done. if you know your position on an issue, don't be wishy-washey about it

If you're interested in sounding like you're unsure of yourself; talk and think About both sides of the issues. But you sound like you're quite pragmatic and fairly uncompromising. That's just fine.

Just Don't be the politician; be the party manager or a lobbyist. If you like fashion or sales; be a buyer for a design house-not a seller. Sell a single line-not multiple lines. And if you don't like dealing with emotional entanglements; keep your friends at a distance and don't kiss when you fuck.

You're not the kind of person wanting to understand both sides of issues or opinions. You're not alone.

[Ellie-V]

I trust men just as much as I trust women.
I’m aware of the benefits of marriage, so I am aware of “both sides”. It’s just not for me. End of story

I am compromising, just not on this subject.

You seem to believe that I have some phobia about emotions... which isn’t true.

[Keyboardkat]

I may disagree with you on many points, but I respect you and your opinion and I truly appreciate your honesty.
One comment I will make. You said your feelings don't last long enough to satisfy someone else. As I've said elsewhere, love is a choice we make. When we commit to someone, we are saying, "I chose you today and will continue to choose you tomorrow, even when neither of us is so attractive anymore." Which is probably why you won't commit to anyone. But I'll also say that if love is based only on human, changeable feelings, then one's words are meaningless, because one can feel the other way tomorrow, and that can cause a lot of hurt. Just my thoughts. As I said, you are an honest person and I respect you totally.

[Ellie-V]

Thank you for your respect and appreciation. ☺️
Just out of curiosity... what do you disagree with?

[FatherJack]

Being honest with YOURSELF is more important than being honest with others , I agree with your take , esp the sex bit , the vast majority of women are more than happy without it , as am I now , my Male Curse has faded greatly and good riddance !! I am a single FT working father of 2 , children can be VERY testing... my 15 year old son has improved greatly , now my 12 year old daughter is a pain in the posterior at the moment !! I also will never even be dating again , the thought of another relationship makes me shudder !! I love women , as arms-length friends only !!

[aa180]

Interesting take, and I agree that prioritizing career over marriage is a smart investment. At least the former is somewhat more secure with better prospects of long-term success. And you can still get the benefits of marriage fulfilled through alternative means of companionship as you discussed, making marriage somewhat redundant, and even slightly inconvenient.

[VIVANT]

You do not need to prove anything. You don’t wnat marriage so don’t get married. Contrary to commercials
Not everyone wants to get married. Also , as far as reasons, someone having rights to my body is more than enough to not
Do it. I imagine this feels different for men bc logically it’s different.

[luvstoned4him]

I can relate to most of what you said. I can tell you as an honest individual like myself and the thing is people would talk but at the end of the day you gotta be realistic and know what are about. Great MyTake

[Ellie-V]

Thank you ☺️

[luvstoned4him]

@Ellie-V your welcome

[fashionguy17]

Nice.

To be honest, I think marriage is a waste of time. It also bugs me when women talk so much about marriage.

Let me ask you all something. If you are in a good relationship, what changes once you say your vows and get that ring? NOTHING! You're relationship is going to the be same and nothing is going to change instantaneously.

In the past, I've also seen some women let go of really good men just because they didn't want to get married.

I think marriage is a waste of time. My friend is in more debt because of his wedding. Instead of getting married, I think that it would be better to put that money towards a nice vacation, down-payment for a house or saving money for a baby.

[HappyLeng]

Marriage and extravagant weddings are different. You can get married in a city hall without spending a dime and use your savings for your dream vacation or downpayment on your mortgage.

[fashionguy17]

@HappyLeng You know damn well most women won't do that.

[HappyLeng]

Well, I'd rather spend my hard-earned money to have my dream vacation or pay for the mortgage than spend thousands on a one-day event.

[abetterme]

@HappyLeng true story

[nojokecarmichael]

Sounds about right at least on some points. I just don't think I'd ever love someone, like genuinely. I may care for them more than others but that love died when my grandparents did.

After being around others kids, they are cool to be around but it's a big responsibility. I don't think I could be dating let alone married to someone for the rest of my life, not anymore at least

[Benedek38]

"From both experiences, I can acknowledge that my feelings dont last long enough to satisfy the other person."
Lasting relationships aren't built on love alone, but commitment and dedication too, when love runs out. I simply don't think ypi are mature enough for a relationship.

[Ellie-V]

I am committed and dedicated to other things—just not relationships.
I do not believe they are based solely on love alone. But I’m sorry that I made it seem that way.

[Ellie-V]

Whether I’m mature or not doesn’t really matter I guess. I shouldn’t be married, and I’d be doing the world a favor if I stayed away from that

[Benedek38]

"I am committed and dedicated to other things—just not relationships."
And I was really commited to finish that crayon drawing in kindergarten.
Commitment to anything =/= maturity.
Commitment to anything =/= commitment in a relationship.
Don't compare a hobby to a relationship for example.

"I shouldn’t be married, and I’d be doing the world a favor if I stayed away from that "
I have to agree here, I would actively advise anyone not to put a ring on your finger.

[Ellie-V]

Cool

[x_Pretty_x]

I am wondering if when you are old, goals are done and your alone will you feel differently? I guess you won't know untill it happens but by then it may be too late. However, it's good you know yourself enough not to ruin anyone elses life. I would suggest never dating anyone, EVER. I say this because people get attached and your just gonna hurt them in the end. Wish u all the best

[Ellie-V]

I may date here and there but I’m always honest about my feelings and state of mind upfront.

[dmgstarfleet]

At 23 a girl has the world-she's at the height of her sexual attractiveness, is legally an adult and there are so many choices life offers. That you will change in 20 years is not a might but a given and I'm glad you note that in your essay. That said, it is FAR to soon for you to "know" you should not be married. 2 relationships at that young age is too small a sample size to judge. At this time, however, you do have the self knowledge to realize a Long Term Relationship is not workable for you-for right now. Just because you reach a certain age doesn't mean you are through growing (I'm in my 50s and haven't finished growing and changing yet). Enjoy this season in your life-its spring for you.

[Ellie-V]

I’m not judging relationships in general based on my two experiences. But based on those two relationships, I’ve come to realize some things about myself.

I never said I was done growing up. I know that there is always room for improvement in every aspect of life.

I know that I shouldn’t be married because I am not marriage material, and I don’t have any desire to be marriage material.

[ThisAndThat]

Your right. No one ever stops growing no matter how old they are not until they're dead.

[btbc92]

Just don't be married then. That way you can do bad all by yourself and not waste a good man's time.

[Ellie-V]

That’s the point 😂

[Fromdusktilldawn]

I'm only 1 year younger and didn't even have a less serious relationship. And also don't really think how a serious ling term relationship would go. I don't even see me in one, in near future. I'm also not interested in having kids. I still feel like I just finished my childhood and youth.

[the-truth]

we don't all need to be in a relationship or in love. do your own thing, have sex when you want and get attention when you need it and concentrate on your own life and making that money, making yourself happy and review this situation again in years.

if by then you still feel you should not have sex to keep your partner happy, then stay single. being in a relationship means you will constantly be asked for sex and doing things you don't want to do.

[Jenny4455]

I understand entirely. Don't act as your expected to act. Live your life the way you want to. I know relationships are never going to be for me and I never want children, I have my own life goals and they are what matters to me

[loveslongnails]

Not only shouldn't you be MARRIED, you shouldn't be in a long term relationship !! You're not relationship material. Doesn't mean you're not a great person, but you're clearly happy on your own and don't want to be involved in the sorts of compromises required in a relationship. And... since you don't sound like a "sexual" person to begin with, most guys won't want to go without while you get in the mood.

[Ellie-V]

That’s the point I was making 😂

[loveslongnails]

So I have a question for you... are you looking for validation and that others understand you better, or recognize that "marriage and relationships are not for everyone"? It's a really great "take", it's just soooo very, very personal that I'm intrigued you even posted it. :)

[Ellie-V]

I wrote it because I had a chat with my friend and she wasn’t sure where her life was headed relationship wise.

[Ellie-V]

I don’t necessarily want her or anyone else to follow me or feel the same way as I do. I’m just sharing my perspective on it

[loveslongnails]

Isn't it amusing, in a sad kind of way, to hear someone who is in charge of their OWN life, their OWN relationships, who can make their own choices, saying "I don't know where my life is going relationship wise!" What in the world does "I don't KNOW" mean? If they don't know, who does?

[Ellie-V]

I believe she meant that she hasn’t decided

[loveslongnails]

I doubt it. But that's besides the point. You know who YOU are, and you shouldn't be married, or involved. GOOD for you !!