Search Results: how long to recover

I recently broke up with an ex of over 8 years, in a really bad way. He quickly started to contact me and I responded. Bad mistake! After thinking things through and talking to a good friend, I have decided that it was too early for us to be friends and be too comfortable. I told him that I needed some space and was not ready to talk to him like that. He stopped calling and texting me. After about a week, I started missing us talking and him checking up on me, I ended up texting him here and there and called him once to check on him. I made the mistake of asking him to be friends and said I missed him. :( He seemed very distant, cold and confused. He is probably thinking that I want him back and still love him. But my intentions were not to talk to him all the time or get back with him, but trying to be friends on a social level and be cordial. After all, we have known each other and dated for a long time. How do I communicate my true intentions to him without looking needy or desperate or making him think I want him back. Or should I just leave it alone and move on? How do I proceed with this situation? I have since stopped contacting him; no phone calls and no text. The ultimate question is, how can I recover from looking desperate or needy in his eyes and gain the upper hand in the situation? He hurt me, so he should be the one chasing after my forgiveness and friendship, not me.