Search Results: marriage help

A little help needed please.

I’m 32 and my boyfriend is 36. We’ve been together for just under 9 months.

Things have been good, but slow. Didn’t kiss until 6 weeks of being together, and even still, he doesn’t kiss me much. He likes to hold my hand almost all the time. He likes to cuddle a lot too.

haven’t slept together. We’re both Christian, so are trying to put it off. don’t question this - it’s just personally important to me. We’ve both done it previously. And we did have 2 close calls.

He never talks about feelings. And he’s not romantic. He’s generally not the type to do that -very pragmatic.

He’s even told me that he doesn’t know if he loves me yet. However he then clarified that he thinks that you tell someone you love them when you’re at the stage of proposing. So it’s obviously more a choice than a feeling to him. He said that he thinks a relationship needs to be given 1 - 1.5 years before coming to a decision like that.

Despite being difficult, I can live with this.

However, I need to know that he isn’t wasting my time.

I’m wanting to move forward in my life, and I want marriage and kids. I’m turning 33 this year.

I did tell him that I need to see that the relationship is progressing. He told me that he thinks we need to go away together for at least a week to see how we go together, and progress the relationship more.

I asked him when, and he mentioned his work situation, the uncertainty, how busy he is, and that he’d need to save a bit for a holiday, so suggested June/July.

This seems like ages to me, and I’m not sure that I can risk waiting this long if he isn’t sure about me.

I really like him, and don’t want to lose him. However also really value my time. So I need a little more certainty if I’m going to wait that long.

Do I communicate this to him? If so, how?

I don’t want him to feel pressured, but I also don’t want him wasting my time.

Male advice would be really appreciated right now. Especially any rational/pragmatic men.