Search Results: messed up world

I'm probably the most confused person you'd ever meet. I have a boyfriend who I like, he's not the most wonderful boyfriend. He's too young for me and it shows all the time. Sometimes I feel like he's a 100% different person. Not that it's an excuse for what I do... I don't know what wrong with me. I cheat on him or I have twice and it wouldn't surprise me if I did it again. I lost my virginity to this one and it'd be like losing a piece of myself if I lost him. He loves me, and I love him. He wants to move away with me, but only half the time. I'm the first person he tells if he breaks up with his girlfriend, but I've tried before and he won't go into a relationship with me. Sometimes I'm convinced he thinks I'll wait forever for him and we'll end up married with kids. Not that I don't love my boyfriend and he says he loves me too... that's the problem though it's hard to believe it. Then out of no where I meet Justin and it's through work and he has a girlfriend whom he lives with. And there was something there that I've never felt before ever. He tells me it was love at first sight for him, some of the sh*t he says is too unbelievable and I feel like it's way too good to be true. I only met him 2 days ago and I drive down the road hoping to see him and whenever my phone rings I want it to be him. He says I'm flawless.. and asks me what I'm going to say when he breaks up with his girlfriend. I just say I'm not sure yet and ask what in a perfect world he'd want to hear from me. And he just says "let's start our lives together, what else would I want to hear?" I feel like I have one perfect thing with all three of them. Perfect sex with my boyfriend, a perfect life with the one I cheat with, and nothing but love with Justin. I'm so confused, and sometimes I cry. And he says that he wants to do nothing more than hold me. It's a crazy mess... help =\.