Search Results: more than friends poems

Two months ago in the event, where i was invited as participant i met my dream boy, who is too popular and many girls like him. He is well-known. when i sang my songs he was surprised, he liked my creation and told his friend that my voice was melodious and magical. I was only girl who didn't try to approach him, i was aside and didn't pay attention to him, as if he was one simple guy for me. Now we met each other, we study in same places now, and he was all time staring at me, seeking me with his eyes, second day he even stopped to watch me. It was clear for me that his attention was towards me. but i dont know whatnto think, he loves one girl, he even writes poems to her. he is 3 years older than me and he is more experienced also. i thought he would never like, not because i am not attractive ( i am attractive girl), just because i have a little shy personality. i dont want to have hope, just i wantnto know what he thinks about me, does he like me or not.

I'm trying really hard to be brave enough to not go anonymous. So I would really appreciate it if you wouldn't judge me. Thank You

Sooo I know that every single person on GAG, has been/felt upset, alone, angry,sad, frustrated, hated, unloved, even the feeling of absolutely nothing. Its all different feelings of derision and so much more.

My question is how far have you gone, with trying to cope with it. Anywhere from counseling to suicide, or just keeping to yourself.

I want honest answers, and please DON'T JUDGE OTHERS!

I want to know why did you feel this way, and if it is occurring right now or in the past.

I'm not going to lie, I have been many times. Guess it started after puberty. I started making horrible decisions. Lying to my mom, staying out late, giving out my # to strangers, phone sex.

I started writing depressing poems, crying and yelling all the time.

I never harmed myself like cutting, well then again maybe I did. I would scratch the mess out of my arm leaving scars. I never made myself bleed, or cut myself, but I did consider it.

Yes, suicide has even popped up in my head, but I just had to think is it worth it. I've never attempted it. I'm not going to lie I beat myself up pretty hard emotionally.

I have no clue why. I felt unattractive, unloved, like I didn't have friends, like my existence doesn't matter. Then there's issues with school, boys, "friends", grades, and I'm just about always sick. So I also popped a lot of pills to try to get rid of the pain. (not enough to kill me, but more than what is prescribed) by the way I don't get it, I swear it really doesn't help, at all!

So yeah, I'm just being honest. Why should I lie, and say that I've never felt like that. Why should I act like this hadn't occurred. It happens to the best of us.

So what's your story?