Search Results: ready for friendship with an ex

He still has feelings for/isn't ready to stop talking to his ex and wouldn't give up his friendship with her for me. Given the choice, he says he would date neither. Looked through his phone, he isn't flirting with her despite her moves on him. He says he talks to her because she says that's what she needs to be stable.

I've twice already broken up with him over this. If I leave again there will be no 4th chance to date him. I keep coming back because I realize what a great guy he is aside from that and he has that "the one" feeling and I feel like if I left for good I would truly regret it. But her presence in my life is hurting me a lot. I don't know what to do. Should I give it some time to see if the situation clears up or leave because it feels like he still really has romantic feelings for her even though he says he doesn't (but kind of acts like he does... not flirting but the level of intimacy of things they share)?

I don't know if he will ever truly let go of her but I'm totally head over heels for him and I'm willing to try because of it. What would you do?

Also, would you ever continue to date someone you were heavily emotionally invested in if you found out they kind of care about an ex?

Thanks!

I recently broke up with an ex of over 8 years, in a really bad way. He quickly started to contact me and I responded. Bad mistake! After thinking things through and talking to a good friend, I have decided that it was too early for us to be friends and be too comfortable. I told him that I needed some space and was not ready to talk to him like that. He stopped calling and texting me. After about a week, I started missing us talking and him checking up on me, I ended up texting him here and there and called him once to check on him. I made the mistake of asking him to be friends and said I missed him. :( He seemed very distant, cold and confused. He is probably thinking that I want him back and still love him. But my intentions were not to talk to him all the time or get back with him, but trying to be friends on a social level and be cordial. After all, we have known each other and dated for a long time. How do I communicate my true intentions to him without looking needy or desperate or making him think I want him back. Or should I just leave it alone and move on? How do I proceed with this situation? I have since stopped contacting him; no phone calls and no text. The ultimate question is, how can I recover from looking desperate or needy in his eyes and gain the upper hand in the situation? He hurt me, so he should be the one chasing after my forgiveness and friendship, not me.

Ok, so i'm in highschool, 15, female. I will give some back ground. I will use fake names. Tim is my ex and Ben is my current interest. Tim and I are kinda not friends but not unfriends, we were together a year ago. Tim and I are friends of a casual nature. Ben and Tim are in most of my classes, one of them being sport. I was walking around with Ben setting up some sport stuff. the joke was something to do with drugs, and I replied saying I know who your dealer was, it's Tim. (This is a joke no ones on drugs) But Tim always jokes about supplying drugs. After the joke, Ben was like "So you and Tim, went out?" and I was like yeah "About this time last year." Ben was like "how long?" and I said "Like a month a bit." (I realised I wasn't ready.) Then he said "You two were the perfect couple." The convo kinda ended there. But later Ben came up to me when i was umpiring a game and we talked but then suddenly he was like "Why don't you go watch Tim?" and some other stuff and I replied "It was a year ago, you dick." He also teases me about other stuff. He asks weird but not really personal questions like "whats you favourite orange juice?' and stuff like that. As soon as I feel like we are getting somewhere he drops the convo/ loses interest. Is this a 'as long as I keep you interested, you won't go anywhere, have a flirt around kinda thing?' Someone else picked up on it one time. Another guy noticed the flirting and made a comment about us two together but neither of us really answered. He doesn't talk to me online that much. He's not much of an online guy though. I feel something there but he also has a lot of girls who are friends and I'm not crazy about him but he makes me smile. I don't want a serious relationship. But I would like to know if I'm wasting my time and should stop the flirting (that is accruing both ways) or if there is something there. I am being to cautious, but I don't want to ruin the friendship we have so far. So, what do you think?