Search Results: being friends with an ex

I wouldn’t snoop through my boyfriend’s phone without his permission. But I honestly feel like I can’t believe what he says because he’s lied to me and broke my trust. He’s recently started talking to a girl he slept with while were on a break, she doesn’t even qualify as an ex. He never wanted to date her and he made that clear. Yet she wanted a relationship with him and was very childish when she found out we were getting back together. I don’t mind if they’re just civil friends, but it does make me uncomfortable to think of them being too close and I don’t believe that’s just jealousy and insecurity talking. I believe if he’s in a committed relationship with me, there should be boundaries between them.

I asked him some time ago if they were talking again, and he lied to me. Then a week later I brought it up saying how uncomfortable it made me felt, and that’s when he decided to tell me. I was hurt. I have been cheated on before, and my ex used text to cheat. So I do have trust issues, but at the same time my current boyfriend is displaying the same behavior my ex did when he started cheating on me and I just can’t ignore it.

I asked if he could show me the texts to clarify there’s nothing going on, and he told me it was an invasion of privacy. But he broke my trust and our relationship is on the fence now. So he told me he’d think about it. I’m so confused, if he has nothing to hide then why would he not want to just show me and things could get back on track. But if he chooses to keep hiding things from me then obviously this relationship isn’t going anywhere.

So is it really controlling of me to ask for the texts? If so, what are some other options for us to work through this?

Okay so things didn’t end up great with my ex it’s been sometime since we broke up but the breakup wasn’t the best it was actually painful. I think it only affected me anyway, sometime ago he contacted me and we texted for awhile but things were not the same a lot has happened I blocked him after he was being rude ever since then I tried to move on since I stopped pretty much living life since we broke up I fell into depression. After feeling a little bit better I made the dumbest mistake which was checking his Instagram which brings me to now this situation. I feel like I don’t want to be with him anymore but maybe we could of not be in bad terms if that makes any sense. After all we are adults and I want to maybe be friends or not have this I don’t know “guilt” feeling because I blocked him. I sent him an email to see how he was doing but he has not replied. Am I stupid for still feeling something and wanting closure or was it okay and I’m just trying to act right?

My name is Elise and I had a falling out with my ex-best-friend Mo about 3-4 years ago over small reasons. I did hurt her, but I never intended to cause her as much pain as I did. We were friends our freshman year of college and I ended up breaking her trust by going for two guys we both liked. Anyways, we had an amazing connection and I feel like I haven't been able to find anyone else like her since we were friends. She was truly my better half, she genuinely accepted me for who I was, and I never felt judged by her. I could be my authentic self around her and I truly just miss having her in my life. When our friendship first ended, we couldn't even talk to one another and she would be pretty passive aggressive when she saw me. She would stare at me, try to be loud to get my attention, or do things to get me to look at her. However, in the past 2 years we've gotten to the point where we can be cordial and act friendly with each-other in person. Although, I haven't seen her in over 6 months because we graduated college and are working at different places. When I was able to see her in person last year, I could tell we still cared about one another and each-other's well being. In the past 6 months, I have texted her a few times to get help with work stuff and she responded, but the last time I texted her in November, she never replied so I was just confused. I am now at the point where I want to text her and tell her I have something important I want to talk to her about and just tell her how I feel about everything and explain how much I miss her/want to earn her trust back. I can't get her/our friendship off my mind and it's been taking a toll on me emotionally. I just want to know what's the best next step to take. Any advice? Thanks so much for your help and time if you answer, I appreciate it!