Search Results: forgiving a cheater

This is just a hypothetical question because I have recently seen takes from "cheat apologists" who have awknowledged their actions and are "sorry" for commiting them.

Do do you think a cheater who is geninely sorry for cheating deserves to carry that guilt with them for the rest of their lives, or do they deserve to be forgiven by the ones that they hurt and people close to them? Why or why not?

Do they deserve the satisfaction of being forgiven?

What would you think in my guy friend's situation?

- 2009: They had a 11 month old daughter and one day he comes early from work and discovers his then girlfriend (now wife) cheating with his good friend (now ex friend) in his couch
- Months later, because he has a child (he did a paternity test and he is the father) with her and still loves her, decides to forgive and work it out
- 2014: Decides to still marry her and wants to raise the child in a good environment and not bring up her cheating... basically he wants to forgive and forget, still loves her
- 2016: Even though she's been forever trying to make it up to him, he admits to me that he now wants to get even

He wants to have protected sex with two women at a club and he'll feel released. Then he wants to one day explained to his now 7 year-old daughter (when the girl is older) what her mother did when they were boyfriend and girlfriend. Is he justified to both of these things?

i have seen this happen multiple times but one story is that my teacher's ex husband cheated on her with his lawyer attorney person while she had cancer (and a kid) and she survived gladly but it made me pissed to think how the hell do you not support and take care of your wife with a sick dead disease and cheat on her thts literelly selfish and discusting and made me pissed from a 100 to a 1000 and they got a divorce thank god but a year later the attorney cheater girl dumped him and he called her on the phone crying begging her to forgive and take him back and remarry him she said no which i applause lol.
but i mean i have seen this happen where the guy (sometimes girl) cheats and goes to the person they cheated with and once they get dumped they call asking for another chance and to remarry or be in the relationship again and say no and some even do the threating to do something bad to themsleves (so stupid) but im happy they say no but why do guys (sometimes girls) cheat, get dumped, by that person they cheated with eventully, then beg the crap sobbing and crying for the forgiveness begging to take them back (serious relationship or marriage) and even go the extra mile with the hurt them self threat
i just dont get it and its confusing lol like really

It doesn't matter what kind of cheating. It doesn't matter the situation behind it. I'm talking very generalized here when it comes to the question, both emotional and physical cheating count. But I am talking about a marraige or serious long term relationship. Not a relationship that is kinda serious or short term. If the person you have a bond with (one that you hoped for the rest of your life) cheated on you, what would you do?

The reason I ask this is because, personally, I don't think I could leave the person I'm with if he cheated. And if anyone has read my opinions on cheaters, well they certainly aren't good. I despise cheating. I absolutely hate it. I think it's a disgusting thing to do to someone. It tears that person apart and leaves them with monumental emotional baggage.

I would never forgive someone who did this to me. I would never be able to look at them the same way again. I would never be able to trust that person again. But I don't think I'm strong enough to leave them, either. I think it's because I don't have very much respect for myself. I might even think that I deserved it. I don't think I could find anyone else that would love me the same way. I've always been a doormat. I love unconditionally (I'd like to say I have conditions, but I just don't think I do realistically). People can hurt me all they want and I would take it. I would be so unhappy, but I don't think I'd deserve better.

It's all hypothetical, since I haven't been cheated on (and my partner would never do something so horrible, he's just not capable of it. He treats me wonderfully and is the best thing I could ever dream of, which I am lucky and blessed to have, because the wrong guy could destroy me very easily), but I can see myself being that person who stays. I would love to say that I'd leave and never look back (and that's always the advice I give people who have been cheated on), but I can't honestly say that I could. I'd never forgive or forget, but I don't think I'd leave. And you know, that makes me really sad to think about.

I'm just curious if there are any people that feel similar?