We all dream of the day our ex will come back, pleading for us to take them back. We dream of how they will accept responsibility for their actions, how they would apologize and admit they made the biggest mistake of their life. That is all we wished for and suddenly we can't remember why we broke up.
I'm here to remind you.
We have all heard the speech, especially from the cheater, about how they changed. How they will never do it again and only love you. Well, that is all total BS. People don't just change overnight. We seems so eager to forgive especially when they were the person to confess to us about being unfaithful, it shows some kind of respect for us, right?... Wrong! They disrespected you and if you take them back you'll only end up regretting it and then you'll have no one to blame except yourself.
We become so used them always being around that when we are broken up we have to get used to a whole new routine. This routine may allow us to spend a lot of time by ourselves. This is when we tend to forget all about the bad memories and remember all the good times we had. But that's when you have to remind yourself that you broke up for a good reason.
We might start missing this person but this feeling is only temporary. It will go away. When we are alone we miss what we had because our minds tell us it was better than being alone. But it is NOT!
The first few weeks after a break-up we are at our most vulnerable and at the first glimmer of change in our ex's actions we run back to them. This is the time we have to be strong and keep our distance. Our ex is still the same asshole they were before, nothing has changed and nothing will ever change.
Some relationships end because of the sex. After a relationship has gone through a honeymoon phase, the sex life sometimes take a dive, some so bad that there is no recovery and a couple split. Keep in mind if this is why your relationship ended, the sex won't be better if you take them back again. It will be the same old boring stuff over again.
After any relationship we lose trust in the other person, trust that can never be fully restored. When you take back someone who broke your trust once, you will always have some doubts and that will eat away at you, piece by piece.
Love is a learning experience and whenever we love someone new, we learn something new about ourselves. Our ex already taught us what we needed to know, now it is time to proceed to the next lesson. There are billions of people in the world, why would you give someone the power to break your heart twice and not even learn something the second time around. Go out. Find someone better. YES! There IS someone better than your ex.
We make up our minds to be in love. It is very easy to be in love when everything is going extremely well. But what about when times are dark? Most relationships fail during this time. That is when you make up your mind whether you want to be in love or not. If you can't stick by a person or if a person can't stick with you during bad times, then there is no point in getting back together when times are good.
People don't necessarily make you happy but rather the effect they have on you. During our life time we make a lot of friends, some stick around and some don't. Just like lovers. We should not hold on to people who no longer adds value to our life, but rather move forward and find someone else who will. Some people aren't meant to stay in our lives for the long haul, but that does not mean you can't take anything from the relationship.
I will add this, there are some exceptions to this. People who have made it work after getting breaking up and getting back together. But never ever just assume that will be you, because chances are you are not an exception to the rule and you'll only end up more hurt.
If you keep going back to the first chapter, you'll never reach the last chapter.