We've all been there at some point. That one relationship that was so amazing, and then suddenly ended, leaving us with an insatiable void where they once were. And we've all thought about trying to get that one back. But I'm about to tell you why you shouldn't waste your time. Here are the main types of breakup, and what they could mean:
Was it a fight? So you had a silly agrment, and someone got butthurt, and you think breaking up is petty. But they may have taken something much more seriously than you realized. It could be simple immaturity, and one of you isn't ready to be an adult. One of you may showed the other that you're really not right for each other. Or they simply refuse to believe you. But they made a decision when they saw something that they didn't like in you. You cannot take it back, or change what they believe. Besides, would you really want to be with someone who doesn't believe what you say?
Did they suddenly get distant, and/or leave with no apparent reason? If they can't tell you why, then they either don't trust you, or you shouldn't trust them. No relationship works without trust! Most of time, this kind of breakup has only one of two reasons. There is someone else they're leaving you for, or they were trying to find a way out without hurting you, and kept drawing it out it afraid of the ineviaitable. Do not wait around for this person, they are not coming back! They weren't happy with you, and you shouldn't waste your time. That doesn't mean that you did anything wrong. It simply means you guys weren't right for each other. Or that they just weren't ready, and you can't force them to do anything they don't want to.
Did you leave them, and then have second thoughts? You dumped them. You emotionaly wounded them. You broke their trust. How can they trust you not to do this again? You don't get to play with their heart and then expect them to be waiting for you. I'm sorry, but no. You made your choice, now live with it.
You cannot force yourself to feel something, or be someone you are not. Don't try to fake something just get them back. If you live a lie for too long, you'll come to hate yourself, and resent them, and the truth always comes out. If either of you has to change who you are to be together, you are wrong for each other. Don't live to make someone else happy when they don't appreciate you as you are.
You are not a doormat, a toy, or a tool to be used. You are a person with feelings! Don't wait around for someone who hurt you to come back, have some self-respect, and realize that you are worth more than that! They hurt you, don't give them chance to do it again.
"Time heals all wounds." Sometimes, breakups are just caused by bad timing. If you guys are really meant to be together, it will happen in it's own time. But you shouldn't wait around holding your breath. Life isn't going to wait for you. Get out there and live, grow, learn. When they do wander back into your life, you'll be a better, wiser person, and hopefully, they will too.
When you get to be my age, you will hopefully have learned to accept two great truths in life.
"You can't love someone else until you love yourself" If you're only dating to make yourself feel better, you're dating for the wrong reasons. You expect them to make you feel good, and give you purpose. Before long, you're living to please them just to keep them around, all the while wondering when they will leave. That's no way to be happy. If you constantly believe that you're not worthy of love, and down on yourself, you're only going to make them feel like they're a failure too, and/or wasting their time. I can't tell you how to be happy, because, that something only you can do for yourself. True happiness comes from within. But I can tell you where to start. Don't live for anyone else but yourself, unless you have kids. Living to make others happy, makes others happy, not you. It's not rocket science. Don't let anyone else tell you how to be you. And this brings us to the second great truth.
"You don't actually *need* a man/woman to be happy", but I am not saying that you should stay single forever. Having someone to share your life with enhances it, and makes it worthwile. But if your happiness if based on that other person, your whole world will crumble if you lose them. Find someone who has what you need, and needs what you have, and meet in the middle to create a harmonious balance. In short, find someone who will encourage and support the life that you're already living for yourself!
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