Why You Should Never Get Back With Your Ex?

[Gent207-2]

Walk Away, Stay Away

Preface: There exists a wide array of anecdotes that are the exception to what I'm about to say. If your story is one such where you did manage to make things work after a reconciliation, congratulations. This post is not for you.

When you break someone's heart like a crumpled up piece of paper it's never the same again. You can smooth it out with changed attitudes and behavior, but the wrinkles will still be there, the past hurt will remain ever lingering in the back of thwir mind, even after the most tear-filled reconciliation.

In letting your ex back in you risk letting your heart being broke again worse than before and more damage, especially if you vented to friends and family about your relationship (see also Big Ed & Liz on 90 Day Fiancé). Moreover people don't change for others, but for themselves. A person doesn't recognize a problem till they recognize it fir themselves. Are you really willing to take that chance? I hope not.

[Asimiv]

Because usually there's a reason it didn't work out in the first place.

That said, I'll add to the people who this post is not for 😂 I know multiple people who not only made it work the second time, but are happily married, and with kids now. I would say you need to look at why it didn't work out initially, and if it's something that could have (and can) been easily solved by communication. And I would also take a hard look at if you are otherwise compatible in the long run (so if you share the same values, like to spend your days in similar enough ways, and if your base idea of the future is similar enough).

So if you're compatible in the long run and the reson you broke up can be solved by some communication and self-awareness, I say go for it. But if the answer to either of the two is no, and you're just making an emotional decision while considering getting back with your ex, then just don't

[Singing_Hollow]

We tend to get back with an ex because we miss the familiarity, however if you think people change well they seldom do. If someone sees their mistakes it should be while you are together and changes that but if they only willing to change when you break up with them then they didn't see you as a good enough reason for them to change.

[ManOnFire]

It's like I learned from my own experience and what I keep teaching others: whatever is meant for you, will be for you. The person who broke up with you is obviously not for you, even if they're trying to get back with you, or you try to get back with them. A truly solid relationship wouldn't break up to begin with. People need to learn to stop chasing others who don't really want or love them, and stop letting people back in who hurt them the first time. As you said, it will happen again.

[OlderAndWiser]

Don't Do It! Don't Do It! . . . Damn, You Did It!

Attempting to reconcile is almost always a horrible idea, and maintaining contact with an ex is also on the list of bad ideas.

[AviatorTom]

An ex, by definition, is past history... you've moved on, and so have they. You wouldn't try to get back the car that you traded in for a new car 10 years ago. Why would you want to get your ex back?

[Paris13]

I Never Left One EX who is Also a Roomie and We Stayed Friends and Family but the last One, Hun, I s Less to Be Desired with his own Sneaky Motives with Us... And with Me. xxoo

[KTSjobs]

Deep

[Paris13]

@KTSjobs No Toxic Here, dear. xxoo

[Rei02]

An ex is an ex for a reason. This life lesson can be in our minds, but there are some people who can only learn it by living and falling down despite knowing the concept, I have been one of them.

Despite knowing the idea, I found out another premise from other friends' lives: that you can remain as friends. Once I reentered in contact with a guy whom I remembered fondly, I tried to follow that premise and for a time it was good. But as time went by, things became worse for me emotionally, he started to show his old red flags and new ones, and made me remember why our relationship had fallen apart in first place, with other reasons added. Finally I couldn't take it and I left in silence.

Later on, I checked the premise again about remaining as friends, and I saw what it is behind: it is not exactly what it is in the tin, it is more like saying parting ways without looking back on a good note. If we take that premise literally, we can relapse (from fire, ashes remain), and things can be like before (in a negative way) or worse.

There is a ray of hope, but only if both partners decide, have the conviction of working together and for the better, and it is by talking, understanding and solving the problems.

[KTSjobs]

True that

[Nhomni]

I mean... If it didn't work the first time why waste your time with them again? You'd be much better off using it to buid a new relationship or to just be single and happy, if the ship sank and the old lady already threw the heart shaped blue necklace in the water just leave it under the sea where it belongs.

[Akothee005]

I don't think it's a good idea to go back to your ex simply because it's rare for people to change and maybe if he had cheated on you and you go back to him, trust is not going to be there and also the first love and hence y'all be wasting each others time.

[bolverk]

I have two Ex's both for the same reason - They Cheated - and the phrase 'Once a cheater - always a cheater' exists for a reason. I'd never ever trust them again, not with the smallest thing, let alone my heart, it took me years to get myself sorted out because of them, not a chance of them putting me back at step one all over again,

[mandyfire98]

Most of the time there is a good reason you broke up. Even if it didn't end in a toxic way, it still didn't work out. So I can't imagine a good reason to get back together honestly.

[Amuere]

It's just a terrible idea to even associate with your ex beyond attempts at being cordial (especially in the context of shared/merged friend groups like with mine). Trying to rekindle things may work for a bit, but it will be shortlived, soon the old demons will resurface and you'll remember why you called it off the first time.

[AmazonChick171]

Because there’s no point in going back to an ex, especially when they’re no good.

[FunkyMonkee]

It IS rather like going to the fridge for milk, discovering the milk has gone bad on you and then putting it back in the fridge thinking, "Maybe it'll be better tomorrow".

[belle_kai]

I don't get back with exes. I can forgive but I can't forget. It's just not the same anymore, especially if they've been with other people since.

[cth2188]

I'd never deal with an ex ever ever never get the opportunity to hurt me again a second time

[strateguy632]

"you risk letting your heart being broke again" correct and likely.

[qtheoneandonly]

I don't think it's a good idea to get back with someone that didn't work out with. it's almost like scratching a scab. You have an expecting it not to bleed again. Plus you're kind of wasting both you and your partners time.

[sheikalana]

It’s a waste of time. It will never be the same. It’s really hard to go back to when it was good.

[Dargil]

Never, ever look back. You broke up for a reason.

[syncheart]

In any relationship, there needs to be forgiveness and grace. When that stops the relationship is dead.

[TenderFantasy]

Perfect. ❤

[exitseven]

I never even thought about getting back with an EX.

[mrpk02]

If I leave them I have given up on the relationship. I'd never leave someone I believe it would work with in the future therefore going back to the ex is a no go. They are an ex for a reason

[ItsMykolaJenkins]

my boyfriend was sent to prison after she convinced him to come back to her

guys... girls... do not do it