Search Results: dreaming of death

I used to be really passionate and ambitious about writing and wanted to make it into Hollywood but when I became an adult I feel like I gave up on my dreams to write, travel, make a meaningful impact on the world I felt like I was such a limited person. I thought it would be impossible to make a living as a writer now I just giggle at the idea. I see it as a fantasy that's never going to come true because there's too many people trying to be writers already and plus I don't have money to fund any of my projects. So most likely none of my scipts and stories are going to be made. How can I make movies when I can't afford it? It's a losing battle. I still write but I don't do it as much as I used too. I used to be so excited about being alive now I just see it as a countdown for my own death. Most likely the things I write will never be in film because I can't afford it. I guess that's kinda why I stopped sharing my work and making stories. My future is bleak as hell. And 9 times out of 10 I'm not going to able to find a job I can support myself with. The economy is too bad and I have no experience in anything. With this in mind I just see my life as pointless, useless and not wroth living at all. Hopefully I can find a way to give my life to people who actually deserve it who actually have potential to live and be happy. Unfortunately not everyone will be lucky in life. I'm more likely to win the lottery then to have any full time job... :/ my future is just so bleak.

So we've been friends for about a year now and a few months ago he admitted he is sexually attracted to me and dreamt sexually of me twice. But is he emotionally too, here's why I think he might be:
1.) He always stays with me (in the street at night) incase my ride was late to pick me up after our lecture (he nearly froze to death once lol) but he claims he loves my company
2.) He asked me to go with him to this dance we had and made an epic gesture because he knew I was into that
3.) We always do these cute things that couples do like hold hands and the way we talk the way he teases me and the way we look at each other (as told by literally everyone who saw us together)
4.) Lately tho he starts smiling at me like crazyyy like after every phrase I say and looks at me a lot and checks me out and cracks jokes he knows id laugh at.
5.) He tells me not to wear certain outfits that may be too revealing or tempting to other guys and protects me
6.) He always gives me compliments on my look and notices very very very small details about me that not even my best best friends notice.
7.) He gives me this look of adoration (the look you give someone who you're just in the middle of adoring everything about them ) (you'd understand if you've seen one)
8.) He texts waayy more than I do and always always initiate conversation when we see each other.
9.) He kinda touches me a lot (shoulder touch or arm or hand whenever he feels like it at times that dont require that.)
But at the same time he plays it cool he doesn't act nervous or shy around me and he sometimes flinches when I touch him so I dont know. He also kinda asks for sexting late at night which I refuse to so I feel like he might be just sexually and that he doesn't respect me much so I dont know. Is he emotionally attracted?