Search Results: was i too pushy

PLEASE REVIEW TEXTS BELOW, not as long as it looks I swear

Him:

Haha yeah. I've made mistakes but I've learned a lot about what I'm looking for. So far you check all the boxes 😝

Me:

What do you mean?

Him: Granted everything goes right I want to take things slow.

Me: lol why do you can weigh your options?

Him: Lol. No. So I can know if you're the one or not after awhile of course.

Me: While I understand where you're coming from, every guy that has told me that line ended up wanting a hook up/ wasn't sure about what they want so I'm wary of that

Him: I don't do hookups. That's too weird for me. I know what I want. The purpose of dating is to find someone I will spend my life with. Someone who will laugh at my dad jokes 😝. Someone who will treat me with as much respect I give you. I'm 27 and in my eyes I'm looking to find my wife. I had my party stage in life. I'm too old for that 😂😂.

Me: If you want a "wife" why would you have to take it slow? It should just go with the vibes. I've had enough shitty experiences on this app I'm not going to invest in another one that will waste my time.

Him: Because I've rushed the past few relationships and it's turned out poorly. I mean it's not like it'll be turtle speed. Hell, me moving slow is still fast for some people.

Me: Look, I've had a share of poor experiences too and this is why I've written off dating to some degree. I keep the app up because I don't really have another way to meet people, as a way of keeping my options open. Your statement was a flashback to what took place previously w/ someone else and I ended up stop talking to him. So at this point, I'm indifferent and don't really have anything else to say.

I was in a relationship with a guy who I have learned has a girlfriend. Basically I found out I was the side chick. This explains his change in behavior and not being consistent in general. Early in our relationship I didn't know about the other woman but I didn't like how things were so I tried moving on then but he'd always convince me to stay.

Now I decided to move on again for good. When I did he went a little crazy. He told me he wasn't going to let me walk away or end things. He denied the other woman and had explaintions. I should have run. But he gaslighted me and I fell for it for a little while. Then I learned he was still with her. So, I texted him I knew and blocked his number so I could finally move on for good. He called me a few times and from different numbers which I ignored.

My question is why is he so intent on making me stay his side chick or use me? He could easily get someone else. Is it possible he has some feelings for me or is he just controlling?

I'm just curious because I always thought the side chick was supposed to be expendable or less than in the eyes of the guys... I guess I wonder why he keeps pursuing me and being so aggressive or pushy if I'm not good enough to be his girlfriend. Yes, I do know I need to move on too and not give him anymore time.