Search Results: problems with sexuality

DISCLAIMERS:

*define "better" in your own terms.

"dating" refers to going steady, as well as sexuality and all the emotions involved with said above.

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"it's not guys/girls, it's the ones you are choosing, and yes I said CHOOSING."

I have said the above (in some way) on countless questions since I've been on this site.

Some people have a hard time understanding that an entire gender isn't doing the same actions, the people that the person in question CHOOSES TO BE INVOLVED WITH, are the same.

Therefore, it's logical to figure out how to make better choices by figuring out the common threads between the previous bad choices, then learn to make better ones by knowing what traits / locations / scenarios NOT to look for when it comes to "dating".

But instead of doing that to fix the problem, we've seen people say things (especially on this site) such as:

*i'm getting discouraged by guys / girls*

*guys / girls are getting on my nerves*

*guys / girls are all the same*

...

...and other sweeping generalizations about the gender.

To make things even worse, the mentality behind these statements give off "bad vibes" from the person saying these things to people, WORSENING their dating situations by their negativity. :-X

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So, why do you think that some people (including yourself) would rather scorn an entire gender, instead of taking responsibility for making bad "dating" choices and work to make better ones?

Please vote and reply as much as you like. Thanks for answering. :)

So I've been reading up lately on the incident where Skepchick was in an elevator in Dublin, and a guy asked her if she wanted coffee.

"Don't take this the wrong way, but I find you very interesting, and I was wondering if you would like to come back to my place for coffee."

Now, sure, it's rather forward to ask someone back to YOUR place, but the gesture was polite and not forceful. No pressure, just a simple inquiry.

But as it turns out, the whole feminist community blew up about the situation. Labeling the act as objectification, sexualization, and misogyny.

For what, simply asking? She said no. It ended there. But then his name gets slanderized as some sort of sex offender.

Even Richard Dawkins got involved. Saying that she should get thicker skin, and that the women's movement shouldn't demonize and hate everything that makes girls slightly uncomfortable.

I myself side with Dawkins. I have been in a similar situation. I wasn't sure how girl felt about me, so I flirted with her, albeit a little awkwardly. Next I know, I'm receiving death threats.

Now I WILL say this: It was on an elevator, at 4am, in a foreign country, and he was inviting her to HIS place. But even then, all she had to do was say no. There was no force. Not even any suggestion of sexuality. If any of the genders were changed, no one would have a problem with it.

But how, for the life of me, are guys supposed to feel comfortable around girls when you're walking on eggshells the momen you hop on the same elevator? Much less, how would we be expected to make a move, when something like coffee is agreed as misogyny and objectification by the feminist community?

I just feel I'm missing something, here. And I would appreciate the discussion.

Below I put a poll as to whose side you're personally on.