Search Results: testing love

I dated this girl for about 5 months. She told me she loved me like crazy and bought me gifts and what not. I was unsure. She poured on the affection. Then I started liking her a lot and did a bunch of insecure things and she started backing off. I chase... and blah blah blah screwed it up. it all started when I spent too much money on her for her birthday. She also has a child and lives an hour from me. She almost got fired at work and her boss told her he thinks I'm a distraction. She's also been separated for 4 years and the divorce is... well today actually. I could tell her attraction had fallen way down and she eventually broke it off with me about 4 days ago. I'm 33 and this is first person I've ever dated that I have felt is just like me. I don't want to be her friend, but her lover and friend. We haven't agreed to no contact but I told her she knows where I stand and she should get in touch with me if she's interested. As I think about all of the mistakes I made during the relationship, I also tend to think about how stubborn she and I are. I mean she bought me a I love you more than Ice cream. I've NEVER been this way about a woman... which tells me I should try to get her back. I dated a woman for 8 years and never felt like this. I'm worried that maybe she does want to communicate with me but is being stubborn. I also really don't want to eff this up. Any words would be appreciated. I also know that her friends like me. How crazy would it be if I asked her friends for advice. Also asking that they can tell her that I reached out to them, but if they ever thought I was great for her to wait a while so that I could have a chance. We haven't contacted each other since that night. She did contact me on the way home saying things like she's sorry blah blah blah via text. I made myself too available. I never cheated. I got complacent. I got combative (because i didn't realize she was testing me) I've initiated no Contact. There's got to be away to fix this.