Search Results: is he attracted to me marriage

What I mean by familiarity is having common grounds and similar environment/Upbringing.
I've never dated but I have spoken to quite a few suitors with the prospects of marriage, many of whom were great guys (successful, handsome, nice, religious etc), but I have noticed that lack of familiarity makes me feel less attached and attracted to the person.

Familiarity can manifest through different aspects (these criteria are not all cumulative)
1) Speaking the same native language at home
2) Having generally the same type of looks (so I guess being from the same race/ethnicity).
3) Having similar interests
4) Being from the same religion
5) Having the same education and similar youth etc
6) Having similar family background and social status.
7) Sharing the same or similar culture and traditions


I think this is kinda shallow of me but I can't help it. When my man first spoke to me in our native language, I suddenly felt less foreign and homesick, and I felt like re-found a piece of my joyful childhood. I want to transmit the values and childhood I inherited from my parents to my children.

After speaking to him and finding out how similar we are, it made me easily project in the future and consider him as a potential husband. Suddenly his looks stopped mattering as much to me (I still find him handsome though).
When I was younger I thought that "Love is above all and Love is enough to look past every difficulty". Nowadays I think it's kinda foolish to think only with your heart.

Love is very important, but you also need to think with your brain and analyse the relationship as a whole: Can it be viable in the long run once the fires of passion are gone?

For me, part of the reason why I love the current man I'm talking to is that I know he can be a good father and husband and that I feel in a familiar setting with him. Our common grounds will most likely lead to less clashes and fights which highers the prospects of success of the relationship.

I have tried talking to him, he swears he is attracted to me... I am attractive 32 yo in shape and have a high sex drive. He seems just fine giving me a peck on the lips in the morning before work... thats about as hot and heavy as it gets :( He won't go to counseling and says there is nothing wrong. I have said maybe we should go back to being friends and he is like no I want to be married to you forever! But I won't be happy in a sexless marriage. Also my birthday is next week. He works 7 days a week so we never have days off together to go do bonding activities. I asked if he could take off his part time job on the Saturday before my birthday to go on a hike... nothing too crazy to ask! and he said no i am not taking off work. then i said well can we go to dinner and he said we could use the gift card i got from my job for my birthday... i feel so dissatisfied and sad that i got myself into this marriage. We are basically living as roommates! and anytime i have tried to bring it up he says im being annoying or to shut up which has left me to stop even trying for intimacy.

What are your thoughts/opinions about the 10 guy code truths below:

1. When he says there’s no spark or that he sees you as a friend:
It either means you need to up your bedroom game or he isn’t attracted to you.

2. When he says he’s not ready to commit:
He’s either waiting for the next best thing or you’re not the only girl he’s seeing.

3. If he doesn’t get jealous at all:
He either doesn’t care enough or he’s too busy looking for something new/more interesting.

4. If he gets too jealous:
He’s either insecure about losing his power over you and will make it appear that he's really keen or he’s up to no good himself and uses the jealousy as a cover story.

5. If he wants space:
He’s either met someone else or he just doesn’t like you enough.

6. He doesn’t introduce you to his family:
He doesn’t see you as ‘marriage material’ and you’re just there until he meets ‘the one’.

7. If he doesn’t want to be with you now but ‘maybe’ in the future:
He doesn’t love you but even if he tells you that he does, it isn’t enough to be with you now. He wants to play the field first and if he can’t find anything better he will be back.

8. He doesn’t want you going out when he goes out:
He's either got a date lined up and/or you’re interrupting his ‘pulling game’.

9. If he would rather spend time with his friends over you:
You’re basically being used for sex and/or he doesn’t like your company as much as he should.

10. He either doesn't text/call back or takes days on end to respond:
He doesn't want to talk to you (he's not too busy with work/school/uni) or he is busy hitting up his latest squeeze.