Search Results: mental illness symptoms

Too many people still don't understand the damages of mental illness, mostly because they refuse to understand. They think that just because they can't see it from a 3rd person perspective means that it's not real.

I've suffered from mental illness for 12 years now and I can tell you from experience that it's crippling.

I might go as far as to say that mental illness is worse than physical illness. Mental illness has no real cure and it doesn't kill you outright, it forces you to suffer.

I mentioned that I've been suffering for 12 years, could you imagine having the flu for 12 years. You suffer from the symptoms but it's not going to kill you but make you suffer, and you can't do anything about it.

Before anyone says "well mental illness doesn't kill you" well it kinda does and doesn't at the same time. Sometimes it seems like death would actually be a mercy, and mental illness may not kill you on it's own, but it can cause you to do something that leads to your death like suicide. There's plenty of cases where mental illness causes people to kill others, like with all these mass shootings.

I didn't ask for this. I didn't toss a penny in a well and wished for a damaged brain. This is something I have to live with probably for the rest of my life.

Yet people refuse to understand. They say "you just need to pick yourself up by the boot straps" but it doesn't work like that. Believe me I've tried so many times.

I've been suffering symptoms of Schizophrenia and Depression for years now and I'm going to have to seek help soon. Lately when I'm walking to the gym a 4:30 in the morning when nobody was around I would hear a second set of footsteps, I would stop, listen and look around to see nobody in sight, ahead of me in the distance I would see people running across the street and disappear, I would have the feeling of being followed and would want to run, I just kept telling myself to keep it together and they're not real, but this is minuscule compered to when the active phase is in full swing. My speech and thoughts have been getting disorganized, yesterday I found myself laying on my hard wood floor murmuring gibberish to myself.

My last active phase was in October and November of last year and during that time I heard voices bullying me and telling me to do horrible things to myself and others, I would also hear gunshots, bangs, screams and other loud noises that had me going downstairs and ask my parents if they hear it just for them to say that they didn't hear anything. I also remember seeing the hallucinations I'm seeing right now, scariest one was seeing a dozen heads peeking through the wooded area by my gym like they were spying on me. I had the delusion that the government kidnapped my cat and replaced him with a robot to spy on me and I ended up kicking my cat out of my room for a week. That was scary and I barely left my house for the entire 2 months it went on.

I'm afraid that the psychiatrist is going to accuse me of "faking it." I've tried to talk to my mom about it a couple times but she always would beat me down even more. I'd hate to seek professional help for them to do the same thing. I more of an effort to hide my illness than to express it. I don't like talking about it nor do I brag about it like those teenagers who think they're "mental" just because they dye their hair and pierce their nose.

PLEASE HELP

Here's a list of symptoms I've noticed:

I would feel like there's something watching me and waiting to hurt me when I let my guard down. I would wake up in the middle of the night and be looking around my room feeling that there's something in their with me and I would be up for a while scanning my room and waiting for something to move or make a sound, sometimes I'mm get so paranoid that I turn on my bedside lamp or even not go back to sleep. Nothing could get in because my door is locked and my room is on the second floor, and I'm an Atheist so I don't believe in ghost. I also walk to the gym early in the morning when it's still a bit dark out and I would still feel like something or someone is watching me and following me, I constantly look over my shoulder and walk quietly so I can hear other people's footsteps.

I would have delusions and think things like the entire world is against me, all women are horrible sluts, black people are bad and things like that. Let me be very clear that I'm no way, shape, or form sexist or racist, I get along with women and black people just fine, there's just some things that's happened in my life that gave me these thoughts and they could to get triggered by maybe something I heard or something I saw on the internet, and when I have these delusions it's hard to get out of it and I have to constantly remind myself that these things are not true.

I'm afraid to get a proper diagnosis because I don't want to have the stigma of being crazy, insane, or being a lunatic and have some of my rights taken away. There's a law in my state that says people who are diagnosed with a mental illness are unacceptable to apply for a CCL, and say what you want but I'm just going to say that even though I'm mentally ill I'm still a human being and a legal U. S. citizen and I should have my 2nd amendment right just like everyone else.

I ran out of space but I put down my most prominent symptoms.