Involuntarily celibate

Involuntarily celibate

If people are free to choose, then some people will be chosen more than others, and some won't be chosen at all.

It's not probable for everybody to be chosen, because that's not how natural selection works.

Some people will be genetically superior and will be chosen due to that.

Some would be born and raised in a favourable environment.

Some people would learn to play the game and be chosen because of that.

If contraceptives are available then people are free from the worry of pregnancy.

If the culture has lax attitudes towards hooking up then the people will be hooking up.

If you're not worried about pregnancy and casual sex is normal, and there's easy access to every prospective mate within a radius of many miles, then it's only survival of the fittest.

It's a deregulated marketplace where winners win big and losers come away with nothing.

As long as this type of system exists the existence of involuntarily celibates is probable.

When people say they should just get it together, I don't think they're taking the realities of the system into account.

In this type of open system I don't think there is a threshold that the bottom of the barrel can reach in order to prevent the people at the top from taking their mating opportunities, I've haven't seen the point at which that would occur anyways.

If they improve themselves then I think it would come at the cost of creating another one to take their place.

Involuntarily celibates are turning to homicide, and suicide, or lackluster societal contributions in general.

I read that social mobility is lower in more unequal places, so maybe the desperate measures are a symptom of low "relationship" mobility and higher inequality.

It would seem like there could be some kind of outreach programs for these types of people. Something different from the regular mental health spiel, since I don't think the problems can only be chalked up to a mental illness, hopefully something acknowledging their specific situations.

I know lots of people hate involuntary celibates, or they don't care about them, or they come up with any number of negative associations.

My situation of not finding relationships has been similar and nearly unchanging to this day.

Probably other stuff I didn't say or whatever things didn't add up, my thoughts going into the abyss.

I almost feel like it's not even a thing anymore, questioning whether it's only like me and one other person on the internet at this point.

#incel #foreveralone

Involuntarily celibate
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Most Helpful Guys

  • RolandCuthbert
    How do you reach someone, who is determined not to be reached? Incels insist their issue is not one of changing their behavior or improving themselves. They claim "society" has done something to them. Society is not going to change for you. You have to change to fit in.

    And while you might think that makes you inauthentic, it is basic truth. No one is saying you have to change your morals, your ethnics or your core personality. But you have to become more social. You have to interact with women in a social setting and learn social graces. You have to learn how to make yourself and your life interesting. And you can do that. Because I have not met one incel who was not intelligent. Intelligence is sexy. You just have to dress it up properly. You can't be smelly. You have to dress in better clothes. You have to talk about things that are interesting. You have to be activated and involved. You have to have interests and hobbies. The weird thing is that most of you guys do that now. You just hide it from the world.

    But the basic fact is incels get more pleasure having pity parties. They actually think their loneliness is romantic somehow. That their struggles are supposed to be compelling to women. Women almost never fall for someone they have to feel sorry for. They are women.

    You guys are treasures. But if you don't treasure yourselves how can any woman think you are worth the effort?
    Like 3 People
    Is this still revelant?
    • newblinds

      Good question, how does one reach someone who is difficult to reach.

      I don't know if they get more pleasure out of pity parties, I think there are factors in society that create a group of people who would end up losing out.

      I don't think they state those reasons in order to attract women though.

      You can treasure yourself and have others not see you as a treasure.

    • Sir, I have never met an incel who wanted to get out of his situation more than he wanted to feel bad about it. I have never met an incels who said. . ."dude, I will do anything to get out of this. I would do anything to feel better about myself".

      Their focus is always getting society to feel bad for them or to feel bad about their plight.

      There is no way out of that black hole. It is a circular logic that leads to one conclusion, death, destruction and misery.

      And look at your answer.

      "You can treasure yourself and have others not see you as a treasure."

      Young man. . . may God give your soul peace. Because a soul that that actually thinks that is reality is in deep deep despair.

      Think about that statement. Use your intellect.

      If I think myself a treasure. . . what does it matter what other people think?

    • newblinds

      I don't think people in general go to great lengths to get out of their situations, I think there are things outside their control that can put people where they are and they backwards rationalize how they got there.

      I think society can change to help them, since if they could have helped themselves then they would have done so.

      Ya, it's just if I think I'm alright but no one thinks I'm a treasure then it matters because I'm interacting with others.

    • Show All
  • ObscuredBeyond
    What creates monsters isn't lack of sex. What creates monsters is a firmly held false belief by some that only material success and sex appeal give someone value, and that subjecting someone lacking in any of these areas to all manner of abuse is therefore justified.

    If a man offers his first aid kit to a woman who just injured herself, and her reaction is based solely on whether ot not he has sex appeal in her eyes, it makes her a stupid asshole.

    Kick around the Samaritan enough times out of ingratitude, while reducing him only to his Hot or Not score, and your shallowness will breed his wrath. Until one day, he goes full Joker.

    Yet, his lack of sex becomes everyone's focus anyway. Anything, to evade responsibility, while remaining obsessed with sex.
    LikeDisagree 3 People
    Is this still revelant?
    • newblinds

      I'm trying to upvote this but I'm not putting all the ideas together.

      It's about the dangers of society putting value on sex and relationships and stuff like that? Because if people are judged by appearance or their success in dating instead of their actions they become resentful?

      It's sympathetic to the people who can't get any because of the abuse they are subjected to, or I didn't get it completely?

    • I'm saying if someone goes his whole life being judged *exclusively* on his sexual value / material success as a determiner of worth, and then is deemed by society to be "worthless" and "undeserving" of even basic respect, and this is used as a justification for abuse and mistreatment, and he doesn't believe in some higher moral order to restrain him, then revenge against those who were cruel to him will consume him. And those who see *only* sex and money, will become his prime targets. In a Jason Vorhees sort of way.

      Here's an example of what I'm talking about: I was talking with the desk gal at my dorm one day in the fall of 2009 about some song. She said she'd like to hear it. I told her I had it on my LaCie drive, and could bring it down to the hall if she wanted an MP3 sample.

      She nodded, so I told her I'd be right back. I retrieve the hard drive with the song on it, and the hall director pulls me aside, claiming that I'm "sexually harassing" her.

      What a crock! The song wasn't even about sex!

      Now, I have high morals, so I stated my case in self defense in a civil manner. But someone who doesn't... would probably have gone postal over that BS situation. Beating the crap out of that hall director and out of the girl for lying, and for staging an obvious setup.

    • What I'm saying is, subject someone already on the fringe to enough of that throughout his life, and it won't be lack of sex; but discrimination and prejudice, that fuel his rage.

      That if you believe his lack of shallow criteria meeting justifies framing, lying, berating him out his lack of sex appeal, making assumptions about him, kindergarten-style bullying him suddenly being okay, etc., he isn't going to be chasing after women for sex; but to punish them for making his life harder than it already was.

      If he walks by somewhere, minding his own business, and she points to him and tells her friends: "I'll bet you anything, he f*ks cats, because he's so unable to date...", and nothing is done to her for saying this...

      That's how you create vengeful monsters.

Most Helpful Girls

  • Anoniemus
    I don’t agree. I feel like this coddles first the Elliot Rodgers. Sorry that natural selection doesn’t choose some men but that’s how it works.

    I personally don’t feel that any outreach programs should be applicable to them because there are more serious issues out there that men need help with.

    Finally, I don’t think there is a system. We’re all different. I think the issue resides within incels themselves most of the time. There’s something about them that turns people away.
    LikeDisagree 8 People
    Is this still revelant?
    • Anoniemus

      Okay incel. Even though that percentage is wildly inaccurate and shows your utter retardation. If most women were after such men, why not kill all the rest or enslave you sense you’re worthless?

      Sure your lineage will die anyway but what’s the point of being bothered by your nonsense?

      Because its not true. Attraction is subjective. Otherwise most women would go after those 20 percent since we all thought they were the same.

    • Shamalien

      ‘Okay incel’

      Predictable as ever, you simply don’t know what you don’t know. If I wanted to bang an obese feminist with a million piercings and tattoos, or even just a foreign woman whos not as picky, I easily could, and regrettably, have. Sorry for wanting a decent woman of my own race (white)

      You have no sympathy for the male situation in the modern world and that makes you a heartless bitch. Ill tell u one thing, if u care about children, ud better hope im the one reproducing and you are not, I can only imagine the hell you would put them in, especially if you had a son

    • Anoniemus

      A lot of white women don’t want trash. :/ That’s understandable and I hope anyone that gets you is smart enough to steal your money and leave you dead in the gutter.

      I have no sympathy for cucks like you and think it’s better if you’re killed since you are toxic to the world. There are plenty of good men, I have one, they’re nothing like you and the reason is because of their attitude.


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  • Midnight_Kiss
    I've been involuntary celibate for almost four years and counting for the simple fact I can't morally be intimate with someone unless i feel something towards them.
    LikeDisagree 5 People
    Is this still revelant?
    • newblinds

      Yes, I am vaguely aware of female incels, which is why I tried to not make the take gender specific, I tried to put it in the "dating" topic but it was moved.

      But it might be the issues I talked about would be more geared towards men, since I'm not familiar with the reasons why female end up this way.

      I just assume that females have men trying to date them, so it didn't make sense at first glance how it would be happening, where as a man no one approaches me for a relationship and it's constant rejection.

    • lucas262

      Demi sexual

    • Gavyn

      @lucas262 Not everything is about sex, so why do we have to put a name on everyone’s preferences?

    • Show All

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What Girls & Guys Said

  • ChronicThinker
    Please don't invite me to this stuff.
    LikeDisagree 10 People
    • newblinds

      I don't know what you mean by this stuff, but also I just invite people who I follow.

      What are you referring to?

    • newblinds

      I guess if I understood the people upvoting.

      It's that they don't appreciate being invited to my content in general? Or to an incel specific issue? I can't know what content people would or wouldn't like.

      Unfortunately there's no list I can put you on to omit you from it, I follow a lot of people because I want people to participate in my content by inviting them.

      I guess if people don't want to answer then it's fine if they don't... I don't really see the issue with inviting people though.

      It seems like it's up to y'all who you allow to follow you, and you're all aware that people can invite you who are your followers. so it's kind of the price you pay for wanting more followers, that you'd get invited at times...

      Feel free to do whatever you need to do to address being invited to things.

  • NineBreaker
    You have a problem. We all have problems. What do you do when you have a problem? Seek a solution. Seek assistance. However, you have to have a better attitude. Being frustrated is normal. We're all human, but having that attitude is the greatest hindrance.

    Based on my observation over the years, having a defeatist attitude is a major turnoff for women. Don't sabotage yourself further.
    Like 3 People
    • incellhood is the solution. better to die being an incel than being a failure.

    • What is your definition of "failure"?

    • not getting what you want no matter how you try to get it.

    • Show All
  • Physics-Man
    If you have the money and time, I suggest you go to Asia and find love over there. I've read a lot of stories of incels going there and banging multiple girls a day.

    The Philippines, Thailand, Vietnam, and Cambodia come to mind. Other places in the world include the Dominican Republic, Colombia, and Brazil.
    LikeDisagree 5 People
    • Asian girls and non-Western white girls in general, are superior to Western white girls.

    • incels like me would still remain "incelly" worse.

    • Show All
  • King_Alt
    The only reason someone is gonna stay like that is if they have a crappy attitude. That is the problem with the incel "community", they never think their attitude towards others is an issue. It's always a "Chad" or "Stacy" that it's to blame. I've seen some of the ugliest people get a gf/bf so looks is only a part of why you are an incel. Change your attitude, and if that doesn't help change your surroundings. Don't hang around with people that aren't going to help you become a better person.
    Like 3 People
    • newblinds

      So there is no system at work here in your opinion?

      An open system is where people would rise to the top and get as much as they please, at the expense of people at the bottom who could have nothing.

      It doesn't seem like this addresses the contents of the take.

    • King_Alt

      @newblinds There isn't a system. You just apparently think that others are at fault when you are the problem.

    • newblinds

      So you don't believe that modern society has a system of open competition for mates?

      A kind of hierarchy, where the most able to "win" would take at the expense of the people at the bottom?

      Mates are a finite resource, and it's not like people are competing to only hook up with one person. The most able are encouraged by our culture to get many mating opportunities of they are able, and that doesn't seem like it would be correct to only blame the people at the bottom for this.

      Or you don't think this exists? What do you think we have?

    • Show All
  • Almostoverit
    There are all sorts of serious problems with this. You may not openly admit this, but there is an inherent and implied solution to the problem you are posting. Even though you have mentioned in comments that you don't want to force anything, you have frame the problem as a product of a system. You are clearly advocating that system as a problem, and problems need solutions. The only solution that can be implied is one that regulates the choice of pairing up. You basically imply socializing sex.
    The reality of the situation is that yes, some people die alone, never having experienced human connection in the manner you are discussing. Another reality is that if you have determined sex to be of such a high value in your pursuit to happiness, yes; missing that happiness may lead to regret and and you may die an unhappy person. A final, but not the last, reality is that in every aspect of life, there is a parity in who gets what and who does not. If you were to discuss the basic necessities of life such as food, shelter, water, basic human rights; then I am on board with social programs and solutions to minimize those issues. I cannot, however, agree to the concept that sex is a right that everyone should be freely owed... why? Because you are not just asking for that right to be assigned to you, you are also asking for the right of your potential sex partner to have their rights forced into the background in order to satisfy your wants... I say wants because you do not NEED to have sex to survive. You WANT to have sex because of a biological drive that society does not NEED to fulfill in order for life to go on.
    There is a distinct probability that there exists those who can do absolutely nothing for their situation, such as illness that prevents them from fulfilling that drive. However, by and large the real issue isn't that you can't have sex with someone, it's that you choose to wallow in self pity and entitlement, hoping that sex will come to, or be provided for you.
    Your implied solution is tragic and disturbing at best. A real solution is for you to turn your focus completely away from the concept of "incel." Focus instead on finding happiness elsewhere in life and I fucking guarantee that enhances your chances of getting laid 1000%. Your chances are infinitely low so long as you are stuck in a poor me attitude. Who wants to be with someone crying about how awful everything is because they are involuntarily celibate? It's a complete turnoff at the least!
    Get your shit together man. Life is waiting for you to find it. Get out of your pity hole and find your reason to smile.
  • noone89
    Nobody knows how to help you because nobody can just force someone to fuck you hun 🙄.
    Like 5 People
    • newblinds

      True, I haven't been in favour of forced intercourse, don't think I put that forward.

      However, I think it's an issue worth thinking about when people haven't been able to find relationships for extended periods of time, and it leads some of them to extreme acts presumably from desperation and society ostracizing them.

      Not sure what a solution would be.

    • noone89

      Nobody does but we know what the answer isn’t, we don’t know why some people struggle harder than other in the dating field and honestly it’s never about looks because all types of people from all walks of life have been able to find love.

    • Incels existing disproves that last statement of yours.

  • TheFlak38
    Having no woman in your life is not necessarily a bad thing. It could be a good thing. Imagine all the things you can do without a bitch nagging the shit out of you. And if you still want to fuck then prostitutes and high class escorts exist. Don't fall for the shaming language women love to use against you.
    Like 4 People
  • bente2
    If you identify as an incel you have severe entitlement issues and are def a psycho. Idc if those people die or are unhappy, sorry.
    LikeDisagree 6 People
    • newblinds

      No problems, what is entitled about identifying as an incel?

    • bente2

      If you say you are “involuntary celibate” it sounds like “everybody’s fucking and I want to fuck. I deserve to fuck.” And sometimes you just don’t. It’s proper nice guy syndrome. There’s real entitlement issues up in there, (if you’re interested, on youtube people will explain it quite well). “involuntary” means against your will. Not having sex is not against your will, because there’s no action. Being raped is against your will, being hit is against your will, being robbed is against your will. People not wanting to fuck you because you wallow in self pity about it is NOT an involuntary action.

    • You do realize that one can make an observation about their involuntary celibacy without feeling entitled to anything?

    • Show All
  • bangyourhead
    You know when a three-year-old wants a toy and another three year old won't share, they usually either start crying or start hitting the other child to get the toy. Then they cry that it's "not fair". The attitudes of incels are often very similar.
    Like 2 People
    • newblinds

      I don't know if that is an accurate analogy.

      I would say it's more like: there are a limited number of toys and some people get more toys and the people at the bottom get zero toys.

      I think it's inherent to an open competition, I guess I would say that some people at the bottom are there for an inordinate amount of time, and it seems to lead to extreme acts... suicide, homicide.

      Perhaps there is a point in time where other ways to address the issue should be thought about, instead of attacking them and ostracism.

    • 100% accurate. Yeah, there's not enough toys for everyone. But there's enough toys for the vast majority. There's never, ever going to be equal outcomes in this world. So you have to try to make your life as productive as possible regardless. I'm never going to be QB for the Patriots. I don't threaten murder and/or suicide because I'm not on the team.

      Because the vast majority of these 'incels' would likely find someone if they quit being whiny bitches, quit blaming women for their shortcomings, grew up and became responsible men. But they want to wallow in their immature, nihilistic attitudes.

    • newblinds

      I don't think being Pats QB is similar to the incel dilemma. There are still jobs regardless of whether one is an NFL QB, but it's more like there's not a job available for the incel.

      I don't know if there is a threshold for the incels to reach in an open competition where the opportunities would be evenly distributed.

      I think they would simply overtake someone else who would then become incel. Some incel seem to be unable to get relationships for many years.

      I believe there should be a different strategy available from the ostracism and negativity shown to them, since it doesn't seem to help them and it leads to bad outcomes for everybody.

    • Show All
  • Steve37
    INCELS are really good at making excuses and placing blame for their ineptitude. They're simply too lazy to do what it takes to find a girl.
    LikeDisagree 7 People
    • Steve37

      Of course the INCELs downvoted me... just more placing the blame elsewhere.

    • newblinds

      So you don't believe there is a dating hierarchy?

      In society the fittest people are encouraged to find as many mating opportunities as they like.

      People to mate with are a finite resource, so if more than one is tied to someone it comes at the expense of people at the bottom.

      Is there a threshold that every or most incels could reach where the opportunities would be evenly distributed? I don't know if that happens in a competition.

    • Steve37

      Sure, some people find it much easier to find someone who's willing to habe sex with them, but I've never met a person so horribly ugly that they couldn't find someone with some reasonable effort.

  • babywerewoof
    Maybe if you didn't talk about love and sex like a biologist you'd have an easier time.

    "its survival of the fittest, as a female of my species you'd be a prime mating candidate. Shall we spawn and bring forth offspring before the alpha males steal my opportunity?"

    If you want pussy think more like a poet less like a scientist
  • Jersey2
    Don’t say involuntary celibate. If you accept it and stop really trying, then it is voluntary. There is someone for everyone.
    Like 3 People
    • newblinds

      I don't think it's true, in an open competition (mating) where the resource is finite (mating opportunities/people) and the winners take more than one resource if they want to, it would be at the expense of those at the bottom.

    • Jersey2

      There are a lot of lonely women looking for a long term mate and you are ignoring them. They are everywhere. If you can’t get your head out of the thought that you must compete for the best based on you being one of their best options, then don’t compete where you can’t win... go to a place, even another country, where what you have is highly desired. Just don’t treat her like shit because you are more highly sought after there... don’t be the dirt bag.

    • bente2

      You’re damn right. Which is probably why YOU ARE dating, I’m guessing?

    • Show All
  • Shamalien
    Gotta love the female commenters total lack of sympathy for how natural selection is working against the avg man while showing no gratitude for the fact that she is a woman living in times when no women need go without a man.

    disgusting immoral trash. One man for every woman and one woman for every man, this is what we used to have before hookup culture
    LikeDisagree 3 People
    • bente2

      Gratitude for being a woman🤣🤣🤣 honey I pay money to be clean every damn month, i’m the one that delivers the babies, i’m the one that can’t walk alone at night, i’m the one that will most likely face rape or assault in some point of my life. (And before you say it: yes men are assaulted more often. BY OTHER MEN.)

      You’re also all pretending natural selection isn’t working against women as well? I. e.; fat women, I got small tits and men have told me they didn’t want me for those shallow reasons. That’s also natural selection yet you all act like it’s not an issue. I’m also single. And looking, but not finding. Been single FOR YEARS. But I don’t whine, I don’t complain, because I love my damn self. Maybe it’s time y'all losers tried that.

    • Shamalien

      @bente2 To women who sympathize with men’s situation I sympathize with them. Can I be more clear?

    • bente2

      I’m not looking for your sympathy. I’m asking you to change for the better and stop whining.

    • Show All
  • Dchrls78104
    I'm celibate, too, but only half involuntarily: I'm kinda afraid to date because I'm not cool with oral sex, tattoos, piercings, feminism, and other disgusting things that people in general seem to be into these days.
    LikeDisagree 3 People
    • bente2

      Then that’s your choice. If you wanna rule out almost everybody, you gon end up alone. Broaden your views my dude.

    • @bente2 better be alone than in bad company, always.

    • bente2

      None of the things you wrote are “bad company”. You just don’t like em.

    • Show All
  • Liam_Hayden
    Unless you'd get turned down by a crack whore you are not involuntarily celibate, your standards are just higher than warranted.
    Like 1 Person
    • newblinds

      Ok this is referring to getting sex by paying, or is it to do with relationships as well?

    • Paying for sex does not prove that you're no longer an incel. It kinda reaffirms it.

  • normalice
    The incel thing is just an effort by conservatives to redirect normal sexual frustration against progressive policy.
    Like 2 People
  • morrowlow
    Sex is not that important. You can have an orgasm anytime you want. A relationship is different though but so many people are lonely now and don't have real relationships so don't think you're the only one feeling like this. And those who berate incels do that only because they're afraid they're incels too and pass judgment as a defense mechanism
  • CaptainSmartass
    Maybe these people need to just accept that they're never gonna be chosen. I have and it's a relief. I don't look at women and think "ooh, she's cute", or "babe alert!" I know women don't look at me, so I've grown to accept that, and I've moved on. That's what the incels need to do; move on with their lives.

  • stormbreaker06
    incelhood is the way. less stress and anxiety.

    incelhood has allowed me to not care and see things as they really are.

    i work, come home and sleep... this is the life i wanted. simple and simple. i got what i wanted.
    • newblinds

      True, you are choosing this lifestyle, but incel would mean involuntary, so not sure.

    • i can't get laid or get a date to a coffee shop.

  • BasicBad
    Dude stop playing video games get a haircut and new clothes and get out there. So many guys out there getting pussy that look like a ballsack. You just have no confidence
    Like 2 People
  • DonCachondo
    I kinda get what you're saying brah, but let's make sure we can at least get everybody healthcare before we worry about getting everybody laid. Priorities, priorities... We got bigger fish to fry!
    Like 1 Person
  • WhiteShoulder

    What would your solution be to this?
    • newblinds

      My thought process is not to hate the incel or to tell them they aren't trying hard enough somehow.

      I don't think attacking them is helpful and I don't think it acknowledges the potential forces outside of their control that influence everyone's outcomes.

      Maybe some believe that attacking incels would be helpful to them, but it doesn't strike me as a good way to help them.

      No sure what can be done, if someone is stuck at the bottom of a hierarchy then sometimes there are measures put in place to try to enable upward movement. It might be better than having the same people spend an indefinite time at the bottom, but others would still end up spending time there.

      In some cultures I heard they end up sharing the mating opportunities. I don't fancy that one as much, but I can kind of see it in the context of like a hunter gatherer society. Where the village would raise the children together, and the males would go off hunting for awhile and no one would especially know whose was whose.

      I'm not sure, the old fashioned culture that encouraged waiting until after marriage to have sex, and had different cultural values about staying with one person for your life, could in theory get opportunities more evenly distributed.

      I don't have a solution, I don't know what could work, but was trying to point out some things and see if they made sense. Since people are a finite resource and it's inherent to an open competition for people to win as much as they desire, at the expense of people at the bottom who could end up with nothing.

    • No one has to have sex with someone unless they want to.

      Also, I don't think I've ever known an incel in my real life work or social circles. Not being mean, just not something I have much experience with.

    • newblinds

      I don't think I was advocating for people to have sex with others if they didn't want to, where did you think I said that?

      You could be correct about not interacting with an incel, but society also discourages incels from coming forward so it would make sense to not see them identify as one in public.

    • Show All
  • Edanurus
    Im not fond of the term incel. I feel that it give a misunderstanding that a night in the sack would cure all there woes when at the end of the day I think the sex part is irrelevant to the whole thing.

    I don't buy people who use the Elliot Rodgers incident as a way to dismiss people in that situation. Your telling me that incels are dangerous and unstable, on the edge of a shooting spree yet people who invoke the rodgers name seem to have no qualms about poking the bear. If you really don't care about incels then fine but what about the victims of that person? Is it not worth trying to prevent people from getting to the point where they are willing to maim innocent people for revenge on a world that has nothing but contempt for them.
    LikeDisagree 2 People
    • Anoniemus

      The disagreement is if it's a societal or individualistic issue. It can't be the former since there isn't a significant population affected by this problem. Most men are able to get sex and have relationships. It's an individual issue which usually stems from the incels themselves (they are very unattractive or have horrible personalities).

    • Edanurus

      I agree that it's not some huge societal issue, not yet. but it is growing and I think it's better to curb that before it is.

      Also what do you consider a small number in 2008 8% of men had not had sexual contact with a woman by 2018 that had increased to almost 30%. Just over a quarter. Now yes some of those men are gay and some are celibate by choice but even removing them its not an insignificant number. I'm not really worried about incels but I do worry about 'The herbivore man' and i think that a lot of people put them into the incel category too.

      I mean people can insult them as much as they want but to me that doesn't say anything about them, it just makes them dickheads who are punching down at losers.

    • Anoniemus

      Lack of sexual contact does not equate being an incel. I see that you already accounted for some reasons why some men have not had sex. This is a complex issue though.

      1) The majority of incels are not violent. My response is about how he wants to create support groups and charities for them when it's not beneficial and would not help the Elliot Rodgers anyway.

      2) This issue is more complex. One of the reasons that more men are having less sex is due to technology which attributes to lack of socialization. The most virgin men are in the group below me: Gen Z. They're also the group reported to be the most lonely and, though it's not a causal relationship, there is evidence that an increasing reliance or use of technology at an early age stunts communicative skills which hinders people in the long run.

      So my proposal? Shut off your phone. Get off social media. Get out of the house. Talk to people. I bet that number will decrease if more men did this.

      I agree about not kicking a downed dog, but it gets a little irritating when people don't want to listen to advice and constantly combat you. Granted, I'm not the kindest person on here (and I'm a Troll to a lot of people I consider stupid). I genuinely wanted to help him (in my subsequent responses).

      Anyway, that's all I had to say.

    • Show All
  • boycatcher2006
    Aren't we all incels by definition? I mean most people don't choose to be single
  • sumanthr
    No there are many people ,. may be even i am. one of them. so I am in this platform..
    Like 1 Person
  • SecretGardenBlood65
    Good take
    LikeDisagree 3 People
    • newblinds

      Well it's a difficult issue to put forward with lots of emotions getting in the mix

      Anything you would add on the topic?

  • apple24
    I am an incel by choice
    Like 1 Person
    • newblinds

      Ok cool, I think incel technically is involuntary. But what brought about your identifying as an incel?

    • women can't be incel?

    • apple24

      @stormbreaker06 I kinda of can go both ways

    • Show All
  • Massageman
    And the point of this rant is - - - -?
    Like 1 Person
    • newblinds

      Did this appear to be a rant in your opinion?

      I don't think it reads like a rant to me.

      Some of the ideas I put forward were how incels came to be and, I don't believe it's helpful to hate them, and the issue of relationship inequality.

      Maybe some understanding for incels... not sure.

      You didn't see any point to what I put?

  • Warmapplecrumble
    What is the solution to this?
    • newblinds

      It depends on cultural views on inequality, since it would be inherent to any competitive or hierarchical structure for losers to exist.

      Some people are mostly fine with higher inequality, and it's a tricky issue because you don't want to force everyone to succeed equally.

      I don't have the solution, but I don't like the incels getting attacked since I don't think it acknowledges the system at work.

      Maybe a cultural value of pairing with one person would give closer to one to one opportunities. I don't advocate forcing anything in particular though.

    • Beautiful people get attacked too. 🤧

    • newblinds

      Ok, anything you want to expand about that? Not sure what it's talking about in particular, but I can't say it's not a possible occurance.

    • Show All
  • pizzalovershouse
    Not s smart way to prevent deases
    Like 1 Person
  • 1828avaava1828
    🤔 not sure... 💡... 🤗
    • newblinds

      Do you think it's fine to have this level of relationship inequality?

      Some are unable to find anyone for indefinite periods of time, sometimes many years.

      Should it stay the same or something else?

    • I really am not sure lad 🤷‍♀️

      I am all that I am. I’m so terribly sorry 😐

    • relationship inequality... omfg that pairing of words under that context assumes that everyone should be entitled to equal rights in getting a relationship. Okay, here is a solution. Start an incel meetup group. Make certain there are equal number of men and women. Then watch what happens. There will still be someone at the party who does not get paired. Why? Because people look for the most attractive (many many definitions for this that are not just physical) person with whom they can pair. And a small number will be singled out as the most attractive. Then the majority will either flock to them, or they will not move at all. This is a biological and social function that can only be sorted by enforcement. Pair off everyone and make them fuck. That is the only solution that will remove the possibility of someone not getting paired off. This is basically socializing sex. Or socially induced rape. Why? Because someone is not going to like their choice to pick being removed in order to satisfy someone's drive to fuck.

  • Anonymous
    No doubt about it, the late Elliot Rodger is the mascot for the Incel community.
  • Anonymous
    There is too much thinking going on and I'm the queen of over thinking it.
  • Anonymous
    I think this is something important to talk about - as in actually talk and not just blame every woman on the planet for this unfortunate state (thank you for not doing that, by the way).
    I consider myself a femcel - I'm not attractive, not a social butterfly, I don't party or do any of the "normal" things girls my age do. But I don't hate men.
    I think it would be helpful to have some kind of outreach, I know I'm willing to try anything at this point. I'm tired of fighting the system.
    Like 1 Person