Search Results: flirting gestures

So I've been reading up lately on the incident where Skepchick was in an elevator in Dublin, and a guy asked her if she wanted coffee.

"Don't take this the wrong way, but I find you very interesting, and I was wondering if you would like to come back to my place for coffee."

Now, sure, it's rather forward to ask someone back to YOUR place, but the gesture was polite and not forceful. No pressure, just a simple inquiry.

But as it turns out, the whole feminist community blew up about the situation. Labeling the act as objectification, sexualization, and misogyny.

For what, simply asking? She said no. It ended there. But then his name gets slanderized as some sort of sex offender.

Even Richard Dawkins got involved. Saying that she should get thicker skin, and that the women's movement shouldn't demonize and hate everything that makes girls slightly uncomfortable.

I myself side with Dawkins. I have been in a similar situation. I wasn't sure how girl felt about me, so I flirted with her, albeit a little awkwardly. Next I know, I'm receiving death threats.

Now I WILL say this: It was on an elevator, at 4am, in a foreign country, and he was inviting her to HIS place. But even then, all she had to do was say no. There was no force. Not even any suggestion of sexuality. If any of the genders were changed, no one would have a problem with it.

But how, for the life of me, are guys supposed to feel comfortable around girls when you're walking on eggshells the momen you hop on the same elevator? Much less, how would we be expected to make a move, when something like coffee is agreed as misogyny and objectification by the feminist community?

I just feel I'm missing something, here. And I would appreciate the discussion.

Below I put a poll as to whose side you're personally on.

DISCLAIMER: for this question, "flirting" is defined by the person being "flirted with"

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This ? I asked a few minutes before posting this inspired me to ask this question:

link

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I know my opinions are strong, and I truly feel that a person "cannot control themselves from flirting" with other people is absolute BS.

You know how someone says:

"i can't help but to flirt with ppl"

"it's in my nature to flirt"

"i didn't even know I was flirting"

"flirting is normal; it's not a big deal"

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Frankly, if any girls says the above, to me that is a HUGE red flag that means she can't be trusted.

I know people can be dumb sometimes, but a person imo know most of the time when their words/actions/gestures/body language will be registered as "flirtatious" by the other person.

So overall, I feel that people that say they "can't control their flirting" is BS, because there are many things a person has to suppress doing in society, therefore if someone flirts with another person there is always INTENT to do it, and that is a CHOICE that person made.

No excuses.

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So everyone, please vote on the poll and elaborate as much as you please.

I am every interested what people have to say about this topic, esp. since I've never seen a ? like this on GaG.

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Thanks for your input. :)