Search Results: for my pleasure

I've become strict this year and developed boundaries. My mother confuses it for bitterness. I don't think so. Is what happened to me, the reason kind people are harder to find?

Emotional bullies:
At school, they take pleasure in humiliating you, have little to no empathy. They expect you to forgive and forget, act as if nothing happened when greeting you. This is the same as cleaning someone's mess and be ok with it.

Fake friends and family members.
I once forgave a female bully after a physical fight. I fell for her fake apology, fake tears and handshake. I didn't realize girls don't function the same way as guys. She faked it all for a year and gave me a fake phone number on my yearbook. Certain members in the family are only there for you during your success and good times but not during bad moments.

Takers:
The take and take... and the more kind you are... the more they take. They have no shame in how they're acting. However, if you need a favor all of the sudden they're busy, ghost you or are unavailable. They are online seeing your message and don't respond back. If they need a favor, they expect you to reply back quickly and help them.

Cheapskates:
This is different from saving money. They are the types that buy fancy, expensive things for themselves (it's always about them) but nothing for even their own mothers nor your own b-day. It's always a discount ticket or a cheap buffet, never spoiling you once at least. They are always broke but yet they're wearing expensive shoes, pretending to be wealthy. Or they invite you to their house just to watch a movie but real date.

Liars, lovebombers and scammers:
My ex boyfriend. He asked for money ($1,200) and never paid me back. He was a bum, vampire boyfriend too, lying about future plans and never progressing things. I learned he was really a sociopath that took pleasure in all that. He really wanted to drain all my fertile years for the sake of it. He lovebombed like crazy in the beginning and it was all lies.

See I've made some bad choices, and yes I view myself a bit negatively about that, I was curious if I spelled out what I view as some of my worse points to do with... Well, getting myself a boyfriend. If anyone on here would be willing to put that aside or not:

So I lost my vcard at 18 not long after I started uni, I wanted to get it over and done with. The first time typically hurts but at the same time I kept getting this echo of what if I get raped I wanted my first time done on my own terms. So I basically shackled up with the first guy who shown interest in me, it was mediocre wasn't good could have been a lot worse. There was a couple of almost times where I touched a D.

I didn't have sex again until a year later, guy 2 introduced me to sado/machism and made me realise just how much I loved pleasing a guy. A few months after that just before my 20th I had sex with a guy whom my friends told me I should get with, two quite toxic friends.

A few months after that I had sex with a guy at a party, he was the first guy I did multiples with, it lasted about two weeks and I stopped it when I realised just how little he actually cared. 6 months later new years and got wasted woke up next to a guy.

2 months later guy 6, and this is when I got a bit carried away. I'm pretty sure I was depressed I was at the height of a toxic friendship and I lived hours away from home. I felt super lonely and now I wasn't having sex for pleasure but rather comfort. I love my cuddles so I figured: give sex get cuddles, I did everything I could to get comfort and thought it's better than drugs or drinking all the time. Though at that time I smoked pot and drank lots. 3 months later the guys at work offered coke and thought why not maybe it'll make this feeling go away. Guy 7 was married, yes I knew and yes it was a little forced but I could have said no and I didn't and yes I'm pretty sure he would have stopped. Then in the space of 2 months I slept with guys 7-11.