Search Results: forgive my boyfriend for cheating

We broke up in 2015. He destroyed me mentally. Haven’t really had much contact since. He was a terrible boyfriend, constant lying & cheating, but was my first love. He’s recently been in contact & supposedly deeply regrets his actions. I stated that I’m okay with him not being in my life but he said he wants to be in mine. He was even willing to fly out (to another country) just to come and see me so we can talk face to face. I declined this offer.

Took me me a while to get over but I’m okay with what happened now. However, I’m unsure of how I’ll feel if I see him again. He’s trying his hardest to convince me that he messed up... but I’m not sure if I can ever trust him again.
A part of me still wants him but the smart side of me is saying I shouldn’t.

what would you do?

Me and my ex boyfriend have been on and off for over a year. We've had a toxic relationship full of lies and cheating and me refusing to change. He cheated 3 times with 2 people after he found out i cheated. He told me about it i lied about it. I wanted to get back at him and i cheated a total of 14 times. I only admitted to 2. I did not tell him about the rest. A friend found out what i did and told him and my ex confronted me. I want to work things out and finally change. My ex doesn't want to and he doesn't believe i will change. I Have already made a couple changes and i am gonna work on making more. I want us to forgive eachother and give it one more shot. (A real chance however because he has played me a little bit and gave me fake ones) Need help deciding.