Search Results: making friends at school

I'm 18 and last year I expressed my feelings to my high school crush whom I met in 10th standard. When I proposed to her she replied, we are kids and we should focus on our studies and then being in relation, after all, we are kids and we don't understand what love is.

After few days she asked me to never text and talk to her again because now it's awkward and uncomfortable for her to talk to me.

A few months ago I had asked her for help for my sister and rather than helping like a friend she gave me numbers of other unknown people and said they can help me better than her. Her texts at that time were unfriendly and I felt like she is angry at me and was being rude. I know she could have helped me herself if she wanted to.

All of these reactions and replies are making me confused. I'm unable to understand her? Does she even have a feeling for me and she just wants some time? Or is it just the opposite of it?
I'm gonna apply for college next year and will barely come back to the city I live in right now, I don't know what to do about her. Is everything between us, (even friendship) is it over between us?

I often wind up in odd, funny, strange and maybe even disturbing conversations, but the one I wanted to talk about today was how there was a time in my last school when, on my friends birthday, because she liked Black Butler so much, I addressed her in the manner of a butler the entire time we met and I carried her items for the day, spoke very formally and she even occasionally tried to see if she could break my personality by teasing me, but she then said she was super happy to have me doing this.

I don't know why, but for some reason I actually like the typical butler stance, it is quite comfortable for me, the problem is that if I want to enjoy that physical state every so often, people around me will assume I like acting like one a lot and so I also will have to reply like a butler while standing like one, the funny reality is that my real personality could never be be applied to a butler job, it is just a little hobby of mine to sometimes entertain friends.

The one arm in the front in the other behind is a comfortable way to stand but also has a reason in real life, it is supposedly something to do with ensuring that they bow correctly.

My life in and out of my friend group has always been a series of odd events because I love making them if I am with my family or with people who are not friends, but when I am friends, they are people who absolutely love to also create weird and funny days that stand among the rest, which just fuels my passion for it. I have been in a couple dangerous situations but we realised early enough to understand we should reconsider our actions ^__^

I need to get over this delusional mindset that a guy and a girl out together = couple
I suffer from high-functioning autism, am really good with beginner social interactions and social media, and I see a video of a girl and a guy doing TikTok booty dances in the same video, I immediately feel jealous. Addison Rae did the same crap with her BROTHER. People thought that was her boyfriend.

Guys and gals can make friends without ever making it sexual or even a date. I just have a hard time making friends, ESPECIALLY FEMALE friends, outside of school because of my shyness and outbursts. I need to start putting my damn self in other people's shoes. Autistic men have no sympathy... that's unfortunate for more than 70% of autistic men (+20% if of European/MENA descent, which includes me) actually..

My mind explodes when a girl that I talk to literally takes a pic with a guy next to her. I feel jealous because she doesn't caption "boo" or "boyfriend." I feel completely different when it's two girls or two guys. Admittedly, my culture (Jordanian and Armenian) views "traditional gender roles" (read: toxic masculinity... which actually makes men lowkey weaker than women) as ideal. Most of my cousins especially on the Jordanian side have ditched that ideology. (Armenians tend to be ultraconservative.)