Search Results: confused by a crush

Read further if you want to know what Bipolar really is like, I'll explain how I experience it, but it's different for everyone. Basically, Bipolar is about Mania and Depression. I'm really just curious to see what people think.

PS. Bipolar mood swings are not usually triggered by anything, unless excess stress. If you get super happy or sad at small things, you probably have something else, or are just a teenager.

MANIA for me is like a rush of euphoria. You know when you're going down a roller coaster, or when you have a crush/love, and the feeling you get in your chest? The butterflies, euphoria and the rush? Yeah, that's what my mania feels like. But there is no roller coaster, love or anything. It's just Mania. The feeling is there for weeks. I stop sleeping, down to 2-4 hours a night or maybe none at all, and I am still full of energy and euphoria. My eyes turn large and wide, I can't stop talking, I have to keep running and moving around. I go outside and shop, spend maybe up to 10,000$ while I'm manic. I'm talking so fast no one understands me. My thoughts are going 100x faster than usual full of plans and ideas. I become delusional, I think I'm going to become famous and I can't stop thinking about how loved I will be. I need to quit my job now and move to LA so I can really become famous. I sometimes hallucinate during this time. I also get hypersexual. My mania lasts a couple of weeks. You can look up some YouTube videos if you are still confused.

DEPRESSION. It lasts weeks or months, sometimes years. I can't get out of bed, I'm usually crying or irritated at the world, and I'm usually sleeping 12-18hours per day. I don't see a reason as to why I should get out of bed. I'm hopeless, worthless and no one likes me. I'm crazy and I don't see why I should continue living. I sometimes contemplate suicide.

I always get breaks between the two, though. I'm also on medication, so I am stable now.

so, I’ve liked this guy for years, right. He knew at one point when i started liking him because my friends told him. I’ve always been shy, so the only times we have really ever talked was when we were paired in class for assignments (because we sat near each other and frequently got partnered.) He’s acted a certain type of way around me, like he’s interested? I added him on snap years ago but added him again last year because he added me on this other app and his snap was linked to it so i thought i might as well. I’ve tried sending him streaks but all he does is replay all of them. (And he watches all my stories (usually one of the firsts.)). i was too shy to spark a conversation with him. They told me i should make a move by sending him a Snapchat text saying i thought he was cool or whatever and that it would be nice to to get to know him. I don’t think it was a creepy text at all, i thought it was a nice gesture (and in no way did it seem creepy.) It said in the message that we had a few classes over the years. He replied the first time with something that threw me off completely and I’m not sure why he would answer this if he STARES at me and everything in class and we had been partners for a while.. “what classes did we have this year?”... assuming the type of kid he is, i knew probably he was joking bc it was OBVIOUS he knew what class we had together. I said the class and he just left me on read. (My friends actually did this for me bc lol i was scared) and apparently one of my friends did a double text which made me mad. my friend asked another question and he just left it on read again.
I’ve been feeling really embarrassed lately because i literally poured my heart out to this crush I’ve had for years. And i know i shouldn’t care, but it’s been stabbing me in the back for months now and i just wish my friends didn’t talk me into doing this. I’m really confused on wether or not he’s interested or not. In rl it seems like he does? ugh i don’t understand