Search Results: get over rejection

i pointed him out on the basketball court and was like “oh he’s sooo cute” and ever since then when we would see him around campus i would gush about him to her. She said “he looks crazy.” And i said “ yea he does but he’s still cute.” Then i spoke to him for the 1st time later. m, Saying, “i like your tattoos” he said “thank you, is that it?”. I was like “ yea.” cause it didn’t seemed like he wasn’t interested and was actually a bit rude. It hurt but i was able to get over it. So then maybe 2 weeks later my best friend says “ Drey (the ball player) is actually really nice he’s not crazy at all.” It caught me off guard and I’m like “y’all know each other?” She then says that she only befriended him to use him for car rides. Which sounded like a dumbs lie, then she started telling me how he was texting her Paragraphs of how beautiful she is and how she should let him treat her like a queen. Ironically My best friend is “dating” his basketball teammate, and she would always complain about what he said to her but still would not cut ties with him even after he continued it. Once he came to our dinner table, Sat across from me next to her and was like “ Can i get you something to drink.” Im not even gonna lie, the rejection AND attention he gave her over me was hurtful and made me jealous i can admit. Now she’s like they’re best friends and it’s obvious he's just trying to wait till another guy messes up. I don’t have the right to tell someone who they can and can’t be “friends” with, but it Honestly hurts my feelings that my friend would be so comfortable letting this happen when she knew i had a crush on him and talked about him. I don’t know what to do cause i know it’s not worth losing our friendship over but at the same time i don’t like this. i kinda distanced myself from her. I feel like she just disregarded my feelings as long as everything was good for her. I don’t want to control her so i just decided to make other friends, is this the right way?

So you really like someone but avoid them or keep your feelings carefully hid. You do this not bc you are worried they will reject you but bc you do not like admitting you have tender feelings / or sexual or both or whatever it is. So even if they tell you they like you , you may not be willing to respond honestly bc it is so humiliating for you to lower yourself to weakness— especially in the case of you are in love?

( I’m not sayjng love is weal, just that it might feel that way when in it)

I've never worried much about rejection, but I have this horrible habit of fighting what feelings I do have until they are unrecognizable to me... as alone if proof to myself I’m strong enough to not be drawn in. I do not hear a lot of people talk this at but I can’t imagine I’m the only one. I do hear people say they just don’t care as appear to not wanting to, BUT that’s how I talk on the outside so I wonder if any of those people who don’t care secretly do but don’t want to admit it bc it feels stronger to deny it?

Since no one knows anyone on here I thought maybe I’d get real answers in case anyone is like me.

its also starting to bother me. It never did before or I didn’t know it did. I used to be proud to shut my feelings down but now I’m learning I don’t have such control over it and isl how to just be real even if I want to. It just feels like I’m doing something really pathetic just to be Henest. Makes things very confusing when I genuinely like someone. I’ve been trying for years to come clean to the same Person and I just can’t imagine doing it without despising myself. I spent so many years being “strong” just to give in...

im primarily talking about Emotional attachment not sex. I don’t feel any embarrassment over sexual attraction , though I’ve never had sex it’s not bc I’m ashamed.

I’ve had people over age thirty pursue me when I was in my early - mid teens. After I’ve showed them disgust they didn’t even bother looking at me once. Predators that seek underage children are not good people, so why are they doing a good deed and giving you peace by leaving you alone? Is it because they don’t want their ego to get more bruised by more rude rejections from me?