Search Results: having sex when sick

As a teenage male who grew up without a mother and a careless deadbeat father, I grew up hating women (being a misogynist), hating some men (for being sex-obsessed morons with huge egos) and feeling anti-social. I grew up with gender related problems due to my poor experience with girls (harassing me and getting away with physically harming me) in high school and girls on the internet. I've gotten into a lot of physical fights with men and even some women (and of course received so much backlash from the bystanders and the law for fighting a woman, even in self-defense). I've actually had homicidal thoughts towards many women and even towards other men because of my frustrations towards society.

In short word, I'm just hateful towards the world and frustrated with it because of the many double standards that I've faced in my life as a male and all I want is to find a woman (who can help me change my views toward women in general) who can feel my pain, understand where I can from and would either be my girlfriend or mother figure to me along with having a man who is understandable and can be my best friend but who am I kidding? I feel like most women want all men to be extinct and exterminated because of how irritated they are of men and how useless we're looked at as. I've been having suicidal thoughts since I've realized that I'm just wasting a huge chunk of my life full of hate, frustration and double standards. I might as well just end my life since I'm have no purpose living because I'll just be looked at as a pathetic, weak male who hates women and the world.

I am a sick and trained puppy. My girlfriend of 2 months has humiliated me to the very core..... but never on the exterior. I have put up with is because, well, I don't want to stop having sex with her.

She flirts with other guys to make me jealous. Then I do extra stuff for her like take out her trash and she rewards me with sex.

She conveys that I'm not protective enough, and when I was once she rewarded me with "approval" and sex.

I surrender in arguments because she's always unfair and will hit below the belt if I carry on. She might even leave me.

I pay for everything and she never offers to, but rewards me when I do.

She makes me do all the work in bed and rewards me with moaning and submissiveness when I do as she wants. Like spanking or fucking hard or whatever.

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After a while I just couldn't take it. So last week I stopped calling her. I haven't picked up her calls. I fear this training will become permanent if I continue to be around her. I kinda like the training tho (masochist?) but I hate it on some level. I fear I'll lose myself..... but maybe this fear is a very slightly irrational.

Fucking women mate...