Dear Ex,
You'll probably never read this. If you manage to find it, and bother to read it, you're not going to care to what it has to say. I spent two years of my life trying to create a magical relationship with you and I want you to learn from your mistakes. I spent 2 years trying to figure out how to keep you in love with me while you abused me. You probably are still completely unaware of it and how much you degraded me.
The warning signs were all there, we'd even discussed how much it hurt me but it didn't matter. I stopped going out with friends because you didn't want to be alone. I felt guilty any time I did, like I wronged you. Eventually I stopped trying. You would tell me how I was getting too big when I hadn't gained any extra weight in more than a year. I start to feel hideous in your eyes. Especially when you stopped having sex with me. I felt like there had to be something seriously wrong with me if the man who says that he loves me and wants to marry me can't be bothered to make love with me.
It didn't help that you cheated on me and lied to me. Even when I found out and did my best to forgive you, you never tried to regain my trust. You wouldn't pick up, weren't where you said you'd be, and always later than you said you'd be (especially at night). I would worry sick about you when you weren't home, that you got hurt. I never got a call when I was late, which was next to never. I gave you extra money when you lost your job and mine was struggling to make sure that YOU were taken care of.
You couldn't be bother to do anything for me after our fist year together: nothing for our anniversary, Valentine's Day, my birthday. Not even a note to let me know that you were happy to be with me. Instead for my birthday, I found out about the first time you cheated. You had already done so many things that screamed how little you cared about me but you put on a good show. Your saline tears were very believable.
I did everything you asked of me and then some. I was willing to give up my dream of becoming a PhD psychologist and only go to graduate schools that you approved of to make you happy. I stopped going out with friends and worked more to take care of you and our furry or scaled children without leaving any of you alone for too long. I developed an eating disorder, eating as little as possible and taking laxatives to appease your standards of beauty. It was all too much for me and not enough for you. I thought up until the day it ended that I would never recover and you were the only one who would ever love me.
Now you are with someone new. A girl as equally beautiful as I was but also twice my size. I hope that you don't try to control her weight as well or tell her that she's not pretty enough because of it. You already have the same friends who all worship you, so I know you can be in control of her social life like you did to me if you felt like it. At least with her you've made an effort to seem like you are happy to be with her and I hope it's because you really are, not for me.
I've moved on too. I now know what it's like to truly be in love. I've never felt so accepted for every single part of me: mind, body, and spirit. I feel beautiful and sexy, he reminds me that I am in case I forget or am having a bad day. He supports my dreams no matter how hard, big, scary, or impossible they might seem. Caring so much about another person as they do about you creates something inside bigger than any one could've ever dreamed.
Being with you, 1+1<2 and I was the one that got lost. I have found myself again. Most people are in relationships where 1+1=2 but those are not relationships filled with a special kind of love. Too be truly complete, you need to find the person that makes 1+1>2. That's the love that last, the one where two people are not only a united force but also strong enough to grow separately as well.
I have that now. I am my own person. I am a brave, strong, intelligent, and beautiful woman that can survive any challenge on her own. With my new partner, I'm all that and so much more. Everyone deserves to find a love like that, even you. Despite all that happened, I still don't hate you and wish you the best. Maybe one day we could be friends. Until then I wish you all the best and hope that you learned how to be a better person since our split. I know I have.
Sincerely,
Your Ex
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That's very well written letter and I'm sorry you had to go through all that with your ex. I'm glad you're in a better place in your life now and found someone who loves you as you are and gives you all the things two people in a relationship should give to each other.
I think this letter could help many people who maybe going through the same as you did. Good job :)
Thank you for your kind words and support. I also posted this on tumblr in hopes that it could help other individuals in similar situations and maybe keep them from making the same mistakes that my ex and I did.
You're welcome. Truth is, people don't post a lot of inspirational things on here. So, this is quite refreshing and it's nice to hear how you've over come it all.
Thank you
You're welcome.
That's it, where is he?
Living with his parents? It was only a few months ago