Probably not. I remember one young woman i met who was in college and didn’t date. “Boys are a distraction,” she said. I said, “What about men?”. We both laughed. I respect her perspective. It falls in line with some great life advice i once read. I can’t find the exact quote, so i’ll paraphrase. “First you must decide who you are going to be. Then you can decide where you want to end up. Finally you may choose who will go with you. If you miss any step or get them in the wrong order, your life will be full of regrets.”
She had goals and she was focused. I’m a romantic at heart so i simply can’t believe that if a great guy came along that she wouldn’t change her mind. But i respected her choice at the time, and i wouldn’t have thought less of her if she did change her mind, for a great guy. I think the mistake a lot of people make is giving up their standards and boundaries when options are lean. They start to fear that their expectations are too high and they’ll die alone, and lonely. This is especially silly among young people. There’s plenty of time to find one special person who won’t allow you to regret letting them join you on your path. Do you first. Do ‘us’ after you figure you out. Ell oh ell!
Most Helpful Opinions
No. It is a big mistake.
First, high school is a time for learning and trying to figure out who you are. Focus on your studies and what you want out of life first. When dating, your decisions are not your own because you have to consider the impact on your partner.
Second, and related to above, who you are and who they are will change. Your brain is not fully developed until your mid-20s. That also means that, mentally and emotionally, the trauma of a failed relationship at this stage of life can be more detrimental to your development than if it was later in life.
I made this mistake. I still think about her all the time, but if we were to meet, we are both such different people now. So it would be painful both because I miss her and because we would likely be disappointed in the fact that things are not the same. At least if you date later, you know who you are and that is a powerful thing when navigating a breakup.
My younger cousin, who just turned 20, waited to date and just met her first boyfriend. Because she took the time to wait, she is in a much better place than I was.
It would be good to have a boyfriend who is committed to only you and not checking out other girls in front of you.
The upside is you have someone to hang out with during lunch, and if he has a car, it's even better!
The downside is if the two of you break up, you'll still run into each other and he might have a new girl.
When I was in highschool I was in a committed relationship at 16 and he was 19 and in college. I liked that arrangement.
There are quite a few people that ended up marrying their highschool sweetheart. A lot of them were lifelong marriages.
So, you never know what can happen in highschool relationships.
It seems like the feeling of left out is not so good when everyone seems to have some kind of “bf. Gf”… then they all become exes…so I personally was not in a relationship in HS and glad about it.
my 16 yr old daughter is in the same boat as you…if one has a boyfriend/gf… then what happens with college? Just a bit too much.. with going separate ways… then one says well I only had a boyfriend/gf… I wonder what else is out there… the maturity is just not there for most at that age…the growth and focus on school trumps dating…
I started in college at 19… I learned in college… make my mistakes and grew and learned from. Now happily married.
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Yes. High school is one of the best times of my life
I guess it depends. I met my first serious girlfriend at highschool and we were together until we were 21. I'm actually still in touch with her 30 years later.
The relationship was messy, but they almost always are. I know a few couples who have celebrated over 30 years together that are younger than I am. It depends on you and the other person. If you're both sure and you're not afraid to be mocked by society - and believe me, you would be - it's quite feasible that you can celebrate your silver wedding anniversary before your 45th birthday. Albeit not easy.
There's nothing wrong with marrying young if you're absolutely committed to each other. Which after 20 years marriage I can promise you is not easy.Yeah as long as you don't take it lightly. By that I mean letting it develop and mature naturally or moving on if it doesn't seem to be heading that way.
The most important thing is to focus on yourself, enjoying your life and planning for your future during these years
Yes it’s far safer dating while at school, you have friends, family there to support you. You can mess up safely, make mistakes, stuff that at 20 will be harder to deal with, you learn to spot potential partners that are fuckwits, where as at 20 you are learning what others learned at at 13.
you date a lot at school, fairly often, sometimes the same person more than once at different ages.Meh… I personally opted out because my focus was on other stuff, but the friends I had who were in the more popular “John Hughesesque” ttype of dating situations seemed happy… several of those couples got married either after HS graduation or at some point in college. Many are still together.
Dating in general is never worth it. Relationships are enslavement.
Men are irrelevant in families.
Sex gives women power over men because she can accuse him of rape and get away with the false accusation without any repercussions.
But men just have to have a pussy to feel any semblance of relevanceSure !!! This is the best relationship. They are real. You meet at school because you are really in love, not because of other circumstances. Enjoy it. Because you will regret it later. I really want to go back to when I was 16 years old.
Absolutely. I mean sure you get a lot of grief for it by other jealous kids who are too scared to ask someone themselves, but, yes.. It's a great feeling. You feel grown up, and looking back? I had some really happy times.
Date young and date often. You will soon learn you have to dig through a lot of crap to come up with the gold. It won't happen overnight unless you are incredibly lucky.
Of course. Even if it doesn't work out in the end it's still valuable experience
I liked it.
It did not lead anywhere, but it was nice to go out with someone.
kind of got to hone your dating skills for later in life.
I needed a lot more practice than I had in high school.Definitely a lot of people find love in high-school/college. It's probably the best time to date
For experience yes, but do not take it seriously (emotionally)
Absolutely. It's unlikely to last, but you learn a lot from teenage relationships. Valuable things that can better your adult relationships
I have seen some high school sweethearts got married, but they are in the minority.
It isn't by any means worth it, because teenagers are unloyal, mean and selfish, if a teen guy dates a teen girl chances are she will dump him for no good reason, and teen guys are only looking for sex anyways, so dating in high school is a massive red flag.
I never dated in high school. It works for some and it doesn’t for others.
Yeah. It's a waste of time then but you'll have a lot of stupid, young memories to look back on
Dating at any point of your life is worth it, No one tells you but, its life's way of teaching multitasking, you should learn to balance emotions and reason, none should take over other.
I don't think it was. But that's just because I think most under 18 have no concept of the depth of real love.
High school might be good practice for what you encounter and to avoid later on in life.
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