Search Results: better suited for him than she is

So my boyfriend and I have been together for 10 months. Our relationship has been good but lately I’ve been feeling down. I guess I could say I bring myself down and he adds to it. I’m 19 years old, 5’4 and weight 150. If I’m not mistaken my ideal weight for my height would 130 and that’s what I use to be 2 years ago but I started eating unhealthy and out all the time so I gained weight throughout the years and I don’t look as good in swim suits or in certain clothes anymore because of the extra fat I’ve gained. I really want to lose weight but with school and trying to find a job I don’t seem to feel motivated yet to do it. It’s very important for me to lose weight health wise and for my self-esteem but school and work seem more important right now before that. So this is where my boyfriend comes in. I was already weighing 150 when we started dating. He likes me because I make him laugh; I’m nice, friendly, sweet, encouraging, respectful etc. So he likes me for my personality basically. I know my body is not what he’s looking for. He’s told me this before and I respect his honesty. He wants a slim girl probably Kim K kind of body. I exaggerated a little but you get my point. He wants a girl with a killer body that can rock a bikini any day. So yesterday we were on the “losing weight” subject and it just made me feel like crap. I know he wants to motivate me to lose weight but when he tells me it just brings me down I just feel so upset with myself even more than what I did. You might be like then tell him how you feel… Well he knows exactly how I feel about it. I sometimes hit him with the “You better clear up your face then” because he has really bad acne on his face and back but you see I hate pimples and stuff like that (I have clear porcelain skin) but every time I tell him that I feel horrible and I don’t even care about his pimples/acne at all. It doesn’t bother me because I like him just the way he is; I wouldn’t change any of his flaws, but that’s just me. I sometimes feel like I should just break up with him and just focus on myself. Maybe then I will finally eat healthy and work out and get everything in my life together. It’s very hard thinking about this because he has impacted my life greatly and he always just wants to help me out on top of that my family loves him. If anyone was in this situation with body issues and boyfriends all in one what would you do? In tips on working out or anything that you think will help and motivate me in anyway will be strongly appreciated. Thank you!