Search Results: gay or curious

I'm going to start off by saying that I'm a very attractive guy. I'm totally comfortable going up to total strangers and opening up a conversation; especially girls.

Recently though, a couple of my girl friends (not "girlfriends"; just girls who are my friends) have asked me why I don't approach or start a conversation with cute girls when we're out at a bar or club or even cafe's and other events like book festivals, movie festivals, art shows and galleries, etc.

Me: I just don't feel any desire to

Her: But she's cute

Me: So?

Her: So don't you want to go talk to her?

Me: Why? Because she's cute?

Her: Yeah

Me: No

Her: Are you gay?

Me: Just because I don't feel motivated to go talk to a girl on the basis that she looks cute, doesn't make me gay

Her: Then what is it?

Me: She just hasn't given me a reason to want to go talk to her

Her: What are you talking about? Do you have any idea how much effort and time she's put in to looking like that?

Me: That's exactly the kind of girl I DON'T want to talk to

Her: Why?

Me: Because she's showing me that she feels a sense of entitlement based on her looks. That she feels that because she's spent all this time to "look" good, that I should notice her and feel motivated to go talk to her.

Her: Fine, what would you rather have her do?

Me: I don't know. Something that shows me her character. Like if I overhear her say something funny with her friends, it lets me know more about HER than her looking cute does. If she says something smart, or does something awesome or interesting, I'll feel motivated to go over and join in, or want to get to know her better.

After that conversation, I'm just really curious how girls imagine the whole thing unfolding.

Do girls feel that they're going to get dressed up and guys will just naturally want to walk up to them and talk to them? I mean, yeah, sure. Guys who aren't attractive and just looking to validate their ego & self-esteem, or just looking for sex have plenty of motivation from just seeing someone cute, to walk over and start talking. But I'm talking about more than that. Do girls honestly think that a guy that's looking for something more is going to be motivated at all just by the way she looks?

What do you honestly expect to happen? For him to come over and say? Wow! You look cute! Based on how you look, I can tell that I really want to get to know you better! Is anyone sitting here? Can I get you a drink? This totally doesn't seem like I'm just trying to get into your pants.

Unless they're not really looking for anything more than that. Are most girls at bars and clubs just looking for male attention? Are they just looking to feel good about themselves and validate their low self-esteem, comfort their insecurities and boost their ego?

That seems to be the only explanation which reconciles their behavior.

Girls, what say you?