1. Accommodating but not engaging
This is a precursor to a relationship failure. When you look at his placid smiling face, it is probably just his penis smiling back, he knows he is no longer into you but his sex drive refuses to give up the booty.
2. Doesn’t reciprocate
I remember once saying, “I love you,” she hesitated for a second and responding as if talking to an adorable puppy. “Awwee… I love you too.” Ouch! I suddenly realized that she had moved on from me. So, I kicked the puppy and broke up with her!
3. Friends become a greater priority
This one bums me out because often a guy doesn’t know why he is unhappy and he thinks the solution lies with seeing less of you. Granted absence makes the heart grow fond, but jeez, I still can’t stand my obese, bull dog faced aunt Connie even after 15 years, maybe we need more time?
4. Spends more time at work
This is an avoidance tactic like above, he is uncomfortable with you and his subconscious or conscious is creating more work. OR… he is busy Zeroxing his coworkers privates in the coffee room.
5. He stops listening
He used to like you and he feels a bit indebted since he almost proposed the first week. He still tries to listen but the passion is gone and he wants nothing more than to smack his former self around for committing to you. Save him the effort, do the smacking for him and get out.
6. Sex starts to dwindle
This is huge! Even a man has a hard time being genuine with sex if he is not into the girl. If all you get is the random 30 seconds up against the fridge, his genitals have finally gotten on board with his head. Of course, it is possible he has gone gay, look for signs of anal leakage in his discarded underwear.
7. You contact him, he doesn’t respond
Major major sign. However, so many girls turn a blind eye to this, thinking for some reason it is normal for you to text/call him 39 times in one day without a response. Stop this now!! but if you want to understand how to get the power back read my book to become badass at texting!
The more he wants to wander mentally, the more his eyes follow suit.
8. Looks at or talks about other women
To my shame, most guys do this, it is inevitable. However, the more he wants to wander mentally the more his eyes follow suit. So if you see him lusting after the waitress with a butt like two little coconuts, you might consider getting implants or getting out.
9. Makes negative comments about your body, clothes or appearance
This generally happens when the honeymoon is over. Reality has hit and if your relationship doesn’t have more than the physical to hold it together, he will attack it. Ironically, even if he looks Marylyn Manson after a 3-day crack hangover he will still have the audacity to criticize you.
10. He is looking for a fight
Once I was unhappily in an average relationship for 8 months, why? Because we never fought about anything, there was no reason to break up! If he is trying to start a fight he very well might be trying to find a reason to get out. Or possibly he is doing steroids or just ran out of meth? (In that case, don’t worry he is still into you)
11. Hides your tooth brush/earrings/underwear
I used to have a bowl in the kitchen that I would put all the stuff girls left at my house. “Have you seen my earrings,” a girl might ask. Yeah there in the bowl, she would later look at me in horror after she dug through the bird’s nest of hair ties, toothbrushes, and underwear (sometimes I would add stuff for fun). If a guy is exclusive with you and has no problem with your presence, he will NEVER be annoyed by all the articles of garbage you shed in his man cave.
12. Gets secretive with his phone
Possibly he is planning a surprise party for you!!! Or he is slipping the baloney-pony to your best friend? No way to be sure, so I would chalk this up as an indicator only. So, should you search his phone when he is gone? Sure! and after that I hope he really does sleep with your best friend, you dishonest scumbag!
13. Multitasks when you are talking
All this means is that you have taken a less important role in his life and he feels that watching porn and solving the newest sudoku puzzle is perfectly acceptable while you blab in the background. Do yourself a favor, blab to your girlfriends ONLY and maybe, just maybe he might still be into you.
14. He appears and disappears
I once dated a shockingly pretty girl that I was shockingly not into. I couldn’t really understand why I wasn’t into her since she was so attractive, so I started waiting just long enough for me to become sexually curious again to contact her, sometimes it took up to a week! Eventuality, I realized that I wasn’t attracted to a girl that was totally confused by Twilight’s story line.
15. Introduces you as a friend!!??
Want to know what he really thinks of you? Observe how he introduces you and talks to friends and family about you. If he is the slightest bit embarrassed or keeps referring to you as a friend you either have a totally spineless man or he is secretly GAY and he has to think about Taylor Lautner to stay hard.
16. You initiate all intimacy
Do you feel like he is masturbating inside of you rather than making love? That your vagina might be just a wetter substitute for his hand? To test this get a tattoo of a fist over your vag and watch how he responds. (Don’t worry you can always grow your hair back to hide it)
17. Changes plans on you
Any guy that has respect and concern for the girl he is dating won’t do this. This screams that he doesn’t really want to go out with you and considers a night stoned with friends, watching Wayne’s World for the 50th time more important that you.
18. Your friends are not impressed
When we are in a relationship we become somewhat blind to what is obvious to others. (Part of the reason we need concrete lists like this to ID the truth) Friends and family however are not caught up in your emotional confusion and if they don’t like how he treats you it would be best to listen. But… on second thought you know what is best for you, and that hideous heart-crushing breakup will make you stronger, right?
19. He doesn’t want to meet your friends.
He shields you from his friends. This is very closely related to the one above, since he realizes instinctively that he is not at that level with you yet. This could mean that he is not that into you or that he is a recluse that might have a panic attack around too many people. (That beard and the bloodshot eyes might give it away)
20. He starts to tease you more than normal
This is similar to number 9, picking on your appearance. The reason he does this is the same reason you might get annoyed with a guy that kisses your ass too much. He has lost respect for you and he is picking on you to see if you will fight back. Cut to the chase, call him an asshole, and punch him in the nose. Surprisingly, you might just get him back after doing this.
21. Doesn’t go out of his way for you
He used to open doors for you, fold your laundry, and let you orgasm first. Now he won’t even air out the chair he just farted on, he might not be into you.
22. Future talk disappears
When you first met, he made adorable comments like, “Can you imagine how cute are kids would be?” Now he says things like, “I am thinking about moving to China…” I can promise you that he wants to go alone.
Friday date night now consists of the newest 'Fast and Furious' movie.
23. Romance dried up
Romance is the art of spontaneity. Before he slayed your heart by showing up with roses and your favorite ice cream. Now, Friday date night consists of the newest 'Fast and Furious' movie, while he tries to reenact the lousy sex scenes.
24. Starts working out and looking good
Before you were comfortably fat together, now he is starting to look kinda hot and it is a bit disturbing. Rather than turned on by his new body, you feel threatened, you fuck everything up due to your insecurity and suddenly he has a new girlfriend. What just happened??
25. He was overly enthusiastic in the beginning
God, it was amazing when you first met. He just swept you off your feet, you were sure that he was the one. You even told your parents about him after the 2nd date. Suddenly he just shut off! And you are left hanging with a broken heart and a mild sexual addiction. Get a dildo, watch some porn and be more careful next time!!
Why you might NOT need this list
Now a small dose of reality, him not being into you, could totally be in your head and you being fearful of him leaving might actually be paving the way for it to occur. I have never wanted to leave a girl more than one that was constantly suspicious of my every action. You must consider that you very well might be driving him to this end through your fear, and expectation of rejection.
Who in the world can blame a guy for not being into a girl that is constantly analyzing his every move in order to protect herself from hurt? You want a good relationship? Throw yourself out there and trust. It didn’t work? So what, happens to the best of us, but we don’t give up. At the least, promise yourself that you wont EVER be the cause of him running due to your fear and insecurities.
Why you might need this list
It is very possibly that you might need this list if you are oblivious to his actions and overly absorbed in emotion. Maybe you are the kind of girl that lives on fantasy Island with the midget and the old dude. Regardless how much you want this island to exist it never will because it is only a TV show and a bad one at that. Wishing and ignoring the truth is a wonderful way to find yourself in an incredibly weak situation. Sure he might not want to be the kind of guy to take advantage of someone sweet and kind like you but he also might find it very hard to turn down free sex from a girl that worships him. Even the best guys are weak sometimes.
So, who are you?
The paranoid girl that manifests a shitty relationship?
Or the clueless optimist that constantly gets used?
Hopefully you are neither, and this article just gave you a laugh and a knowing smile from past mistakes.