Signs he can't stay away from you?

[Anonymous]

He just got divorced and does not feel emotionally ready to date. He is chasing me though. He's not being sexual just friendly and nice. But if he doesn't feel ready why not stay away? Don't get it. I told him I'm only looking for friendship right now. He is a little flirty though and admitted he finds me attractive.

Does that mean he just can't resist me? We met a long time ago and had lost touch. Never did sexual stuff but have an attraction.

[OlderAndWiser]

He is afraid of being alone and he wants you to help him get over his ex. When you do that, he will move on to someone else. This is such a well defined pattern in human behavior. Probably everyone around you sees it but you don't see it because you don't want to see it, but it's there.

[Asker]

Yeah don't want to be a rebound

[OlderAndWiser]

So play it safe. Don't let him come to your home and don't go to his home. Meet him in public places and try to make more of your activities happen during the daytime; there's something about sunlight that keeps things safer. Tell him that you're interested when he is ready to date but you expected to be courted like a lady. If he's really interested, he'll come around in a few months.

[Asker]

I told him we can only be friends right now. If we stay friends and he respects my boundaries is it possible it can develop? He seems to respect that. He is being nice

[OlderAndWiser]

Yes, but remember that if he spends too much time with you, there is a chance his feelings will start subsiding and he will become just a friend with no prospect of anything else, so don't overdo it with the friendship activities. Give him just enough time and attention to keep him interested.

[Asker]

So if I keep the right distance it could develop later on

[OlderAndWiser]

Yes, you want to maintain some mystery about yourself. In a new relationship, what you don't know about a woman is usually more alluring than what you do know.