Search Results: love or money marriage

Before we married I had a career he asked me to quit to start a family I never saw myself as the house wife type but anything to make him happy right? I cook, clean, handle the books, organize his files and at times when asked create his presentations but to him I do nothing.
He wakes up angryvgoes to sleep angry he will bang & break things curse at me and get angry if he feels I'm speaking to him as a child because this is his house he pays everything, but this house was left to us by family and furnished by me & my parents not that it matters I wouldn't remind him of it
At times he forgets to pay bills & keep appointments I tired of being yelled at for reminding so kept quiet he spent all the money we had no food fell behind on bills I had to borrow from my father which he also became angry about.
He thinks I discuss him to people in my personal life not realizing I'm too embarrassed his friends only know because there was an incident before a party he bruised my eye while his friend sat and watched he felt bad became a puppy again and convinced me to put on make up and go because it was for work.
I find myself wishing he would have an deadly accident I would get nothing out of it I have life insurance but he refuses to get some of his own because he wouldn't want me "living well with another man" if he died I don't have desires to be with another man I just think if he died I would only remember the good & be free of him.
I ask to see counselors he refuses I drew up divorce papers & I never saw him so hurt, I mentioned it again today because I love him but this is wrong & he was angry accused me of only wanting him for his money, I reminded him I made more than him when I worked & come from money he does not and he reminded me I had been out of work so long its irrelevant and people would talk.
We have these arguments frequently I think he notices when I work up the nerve to leave because then he is sweet I love him but I'm so miserable is that possible?

Take note: My FIL killed himself, my brother in law (my husband's sister's husband) Killed himself, my brother in law (husband's brother)'s wife divorced him after less than 3 years of marriage.

So I married my husband because I felt like I knew him since we met when we were children.
Fast forward 7 years later and I realize that I know him a lot more up close and personal now...
The number one reason I have fights with him is when I tell him a story he usually responds with,
1. Get over it, I am not losing sleep over it so why should you? if you are, then you should go die
2. Who cares, life sucks just love it anyway or else go die
3. They are right, you are always wrong so just be quiet and stop talking to me or go die
4. When you are done being angry and having feelings, you can come talk to me. Just leave or I will break everything in the house down since your anger makes me angry 100000000x more than you. So you better be scared of my anger, now! Stop being angry, if you can't stop, go die.

5. I will divorce you and never talk to you again if you have any feelings! You better not have any anger feelings! you can not and is NOT allowed to have any anger feelings! If I divorce you, you will see my anger! you will never see your kids again, I will make your life like hell. So better never have anger again or go die.

His whole family has ZERO empathy skills. They are centered on "pleasure" and if it doesn't pertain to MONEY, VACATIONS, buying expensive things and stuff like that... they can care less about other people or their feelings.
What should I do?