Search Results: ex wants to talk to me again

I saw a guy for a few months back in my early twenties. I settled with him because no one better came around, bad decision hence I should have waited for someone that really met what I was looking for. I was a virgin at the time, he was not. I really tested him with my virginity. I didn’t want to have sex right away, I wanted him to get tested for STDs which he did. After a month in, we finally did have sex but he did say that he wouldn’t have waited if I decided to hold off until marriage. When he visited, he bought almost everything he covered the bill 80+% of the time. But he wasn’t romantic, he made it clear there were times when he was romantic with his exes and he knew I wanted the same type of chivalry. All he did was take me out to dinner for Valentine’s Day. He bought us a cruise package for his birthday but again no romantic gestures, more just taking out his wallet to cover the bare minimum. The other red flag id say is he talked about his exes more than I would have liked, even though he knew I was suspicious of that. He kept on saying that he was over them, he brought them up because he happened to have a lot of his social experiences with them

My ex boyfriend initiated contact after few weeks of break up:

Him - "im grateful for everything you have done for me so thank you Sarah"

Me - "all i wanted was an apology.. but if you want to talk let me know"

Him - "no im done.. take care of yourself"

2 days later he contacted again:

Him - "i have so many things to say to you.. but you are not worth the energy."

Me - "thats rude?"

Him - "Just please give my stuff back to my sister please. Leave me alone. Dont contact me again please"

Wtf?
he's the one contacting me first
And he's telling me to leave him alone?
Why would he thank me then? Then few days later, he becomes cold to me...

I saw a guy for a few months back in my early twenties. I settled with him because no one better came around, bad decision hence I should have waited for someone that really met what I was looking for. I was a virgin at the time, he was not. I really tested him with my virginity. I didn’t want to have sex right away, I wanted him to get tested for STDs which he did. After a month in, we finally did have sex but he did say that he wouldn’t have waited if I decided to hold off until marriage. When he visited, he bought almost everything he covered the bill 80+% of the time. But he wasn’t romantic, he made it clear there were times when he was romantic with his exes and he knew I wanted the same type of chivalry. All he did was take me out to dinner for Valentine’s Day. He bought us a cruise package for his birthday but again no romantic gestures, more just taking out his wallet to cover the bare minimum. The other red flag id say is he talked about his exes more than I would have liked, even though he knew I was suspicious of that. He kept on saying that he was over them, he brought them up because he happened to have a lot of his social experiences with them

my boyfriend and I have argued in the past over him not defending me against his family being racist, rude, or body shaming me. They’ve made racist jokes, made fun of my body, always say my name wrong, talk about other girls or his ex, and address me by talking to him (hey, Bf’s name, did OP eat before coming?”) or something along those lines as I stand RIGHT by him. I’ve made every effort with them to talk and be nice.
last time he didn’t defend me against a racist joke, he apologized and comforted me after like always but I told him that was the last chance he had.
Today his friend who I’m friends with but not nearly as closely as he is ‘jokingly’ called me flat and said I’m built like a board. He is usually pretty sarcastic and it’s hard to tell when he means it or not. After a few seconds where I didn’t laugh he said “sorry just kidding!!” And I didn’t say anything cause I’m at his/my bf’s house with my boyfriend and I didn’t know if I’d be overreacting. I’ve had many bad experiences of being bodyshamed and made fun of for being skinny and it’s really gotten to me over time. I expected my boyfriend to at least step in and say something guiding— not even outright confrontational— but something like “too far man”, But he didn’t. He just made a sad face at me and went back to scrolling on his phone.
I can’t tell if he just didn’t want to make things awkward for me, if he thought it wasn’t a big deal, or if he once again decided his security was more important than defending me. he definitely heard it happen.
so my questions are-
1: would you have said something if you were him? (I know I should’ve, I was just uncomfortable with it being his+bf’s apartment that I am staying at for tonight).
2: is this a big enough breach to warrant me upholding my “that was your last chance”?
im planning on talking about it with my boyfriend tomorrow no matter what but he fell asleep for now and his roommate is still up so I can’t talk about It with him at this time