Search Results: missed my chance at love

I moved up to my boyfriend in New York after we got back together in June this year. Things were going on okay till I started to feel uncomfortable being sexual around him. He started to make me feel bad because I didn't want to and some nights I would wake up to him trying to spread my legs or keep asking me to have sex with him. Here and there I would let him even though I didn't want to. A few times I try to express myself to him and he would cut me off and leave, which led me to have a few anxiety attacks.
On the 11th of September @3 in the morning I made a little joke, "It's early in the morning I'll use my toy tonight you can go back to sleep" and thought he would kid around with me Instead I get this sharp pain on my thigh. Took me a minute to realize he slapped me after he raised his voice at me. I asked him why he hit me and his response was "I didn't hit you I was trying to tap your butt, but missed." Since that night I couldn't sleep, I didn't feel loved or want to be there anymore. I thought he changed after high school.
In our Senior year late January of 2014 he raped me, but said he was just "playing around and didn't mean to do it." This incident led me to depression and bad habits.
So after he hit me (present) I started to get depressed again, having anxiety, and had nobody to talk to. Since I got there I was mostly down in the basement for the two months I stayed there with nothing to do beside watch youtube videos. I made a mistake in sending a guy photos of me (bad habit), yes I do know it's a form of cheating I made a mistake :(. Soon he found out and told his family and friend what I did and made and a lie; for 3 days I was getting mistreated without knowing why until the day I left. Ever since then his whole family been sending me messages. I feel hurt because they never gave me a chance to speak and when I finally said something they call me a cheater, a scum, slut, liar. While he is the Angel and hero in everybody's eyes. What should I do?

I have known him since I was 14, I am now 22. We have been together for 3 years with a 6 month break up which happened this year from march to August. I left him, I couldn't deal with his insensitivity and horribly rude demeanour when he spoke to me. Since June he had been begging me to get back together with him, he said he missed his family and things would change.. i decided after a couple months I would give him another chance. He has since moved into the apartment I had been renting. Living together again I realize how lazy and rude he is. We have a 2y/o & she is quite the handful but when he is with her he never picks up after her or encourages her to clean up her messes. I am in school full time and I work part time, I am rarely at home but if I don't do anything, nothing gets done.. I have brought this up to him and still nothing has changed. Dishes don't get washed, the carpet doesn't get vacuumed, laundry doesn't get done, food doesn't get cooked etc, unless I do it. Now, moving on to his attitude.. he has a horrible ego. He is always putting his ego and the need to prove a point in front of my feelings.. I plan dates for us, I have to ask him to do things like buy me flowers.. in the 3 years we were together not once did he buy me flowers without me asking.. the best thing I got from him on Mother's Day was a card. When we were broken up he bought flowers for another girl.. that hurt more than anything because all I ever do is love him.. and he wouldn't do it for me but effortlessly did it for some other girl that he wasn't even dating.. He will say things like "if you don't ask I would do it". that makes no sense.. and I had went along with that.. not asking and still after a year nothing. I can't even talk to him.. simple questions like "what time are you coming home" turn into arguments. I don't feel like I'm in a relationship.. I feel like I'm someone's little bitch. I get zero respect.. I love him but I feel like I made a mistake coming back to him.