Search Results: decorating a room

The other day was my birthday. I'm not a party girl and I grew up not getting gifts from my modest family so honestly just a happy birthday and a cake is more than I can ask for it means a lot already.
Now these last few months had the 5 of my friends birthday just coming one after the other and we had so much fun at each of them we always did the most with a homemade little buffet next to the cake and decorated the party room colorfully with balloons, confettis and had games and danced and took a lot of photos treating the birthday girl like a queen.

Now when my birthday came, only 3 of my friends showed up and my bestie started the day by texting me she'll only stay 3 hours. The table had a cake, crisps ans candy while the room was not decorated at all. They usually make a fuss about how no gift should be opened without them filming but this time they asked me to quickly open everything while they weren't even looking my way just discussing among themselves.
They usually take tons of photos from all angles of the birthday girl with the background decoration and the filled table but they didn't ask for any this time even though I made the effort to wear makeup for the first time in a year.
They also hype the birthday girl and fight to take pics with her acting extra docile to make her feel like a star on that day but this time they would literally tell me to move away when they take their pics and when I point out "hey it's my birthday haha" they answered "that doesn't make you a star lol move". Also no one danced even when I put their favorite songs hoping to get some reaction...

I wasn't expecting anything crazy, I know I'm the mom of the group and the one to direct and do the decoration + homemade snacks every time but I was hoping to at least see them have fun and get some of that energy back that day but I ended up really feeling not cared for. I'm a boring quiet girl so I knew it won't be as fun I understand but their behaviour still hurt me...

In August, me and my bestie admitted to liking each other. He then told me he wanted a relationship with me and he loves me.
I’m a lesbian but since developing feelings for him, I don’t know what I am anymore. I’ve just got to the point of not wanting a label. I am who I am.
We’ve both slept with each other twice since admitting our feelings and we’ve also had massive arguments, as you can imagine.
Recently he’s all that’s crossing my mind, I’m thinking about him far too much. I keep showing people pictures of him and saying ‘how cute is he?’, that’s how bad I’m getting haha.
I have three reasons for not wanting a relationship with him: 1) I’ve never properly dated a man before (it’s scary). 2) what if I miss sleeping with girls and go out and cheat on him? It would be unintentional but I just know how much I prefer girls. 3) what if it ruins our friendship? I don’t want to lose my best friend.
I’ve told him all this and he said ‘I’ll give you permission to sleep with girls whenever you want. I won’t let it ruin our friendship, nothing will ruin it. We can take it slowly until you’re used to it’.
He always gives me reassurance but i just feel like that’s not enough. The thought of dating a man is really scary.
I’ve even deliberately invited him around my house today, telling him I want help decorating my room. When in reality, I just want to see him.
He’s suggested just an open relationship to me in the past and I told him no, it’s a bad idea. But with all these thoughts, I’m thinking maybe it isn’t a bad idea after all.
I’m going to tell him today but my problem is, is it a good idea?
I want more then friendship but I don’t want it to jeopardise it.
Please give your honest opinions!!