Search Results: don''t wanna break her heart

My friends keep saying “you need to be alone for a while... for months.” My (ex) boyfriend says “we both need to be alone a while. Im focused on my car and school and my video games. If we get back together, by or before summer, then ok, but right now its just a maybe.” But i dont like being alone. I love him. Yea he wasn't the best boyfriend and ny friends say i sound like a battered wife by wanting to go back to him, but he has my heart. I can't even revert to 2016 me who didn't mind sexting randoms (not nudes) just to keep myself occupied. Yea i know i need to focus on me, but its nothing about me i care to focus on aside from maybe getting back into the gym and learning how to drive. Im just annoyed. Im afraid that if he goes months without me, someone may come along for either me or him. Im also afraid that if i turn that someone down, it would be a mistake. But i wanna believe my (ex) boyfriend and i are meant to be. My friends say cut all contact but i can't. I loved talking to him daily for the last 2 years. We even sleep together by the phone. He says we can talk occasionally but thatbwe shouldn't do that “couples” thing and sleep on the phone. Im opposite. I dont have to talk to him throughout the day. I just need him next to me at night (by phone). He keeps saying im seeing this as more of a break then a breakup. And maybe i am. I dont want him to hurt my feelings but by him saying “maybe” we’ll get back together one day, its making me not wanna move on at all. Cause im hanging on to that 50/50 chance. Yea he kinda wasted 2 years of my life with this breakup but i would feel like it wasn't wasted if we got back together this year. Thing is, im only allowing myself to wait til this May. But I don't know what to do. Im not desperate. I know i can get somebody. But thing is, i want him... #FeelFreeToList #HopelessRomantic

Well I don't know how to start this : but last year me and my boyfriend started living together in October and we every holiday together until may.
In may I decided to go down for 2wks to my grandparents house. Which i haven't seen them for over 10 years. . it was all Good
Well then July came. And me and my boyfriend decided it was time for me to go back down there again so they can help me get some help.
Well.. it was horrible
Not even the week was over and they started drama saying

I should break up with my boyfriend because of this and that
My grandmother, aunt , cousin was talking go my mother who I have protection order against. And they put me in danger
They lied to me and my boyfriend

So yea my boyfriend helped me come back home.
In the middle of Oct. And my grandmother sent a package basically a sorry package. It had like candy , hygiene, journal , pens , etc in it. She also called us to let us know some things.

But I forgive them and I miss them however I dont want them to keep putting me in danger , and keep trying to break me and my boyfriend up and etc

So i guess my question is
Should i spend Thanksgiving, Christmas, etc with my family and my birthday is In Feb so I don't know if that helps or not

Or with my boyfriend

But I also love my boyfriend. Because he cares , protects me , provides and so much more.

But it breaks my heart because I dint wanna leave my boyfriend alone for the holidays
But I also even after all the crap they did wanna be with my family for the holidays.
But I don't know