Search Results: feeling guilty

I have been talking to a guy for the last 2 years. I have known him my whole life as his mum is friends with my nan. In the last 2 years we have just gone round in circles, and still aren't official despite him being keen to tell me how much he has liked me since we were kids. There is always a different reason when I bring it up and it feels like he is playing me. It was his birthday yesterday and I surprised him with presents and afterwards he said "I want to make it official by Christmas". If he wanted it that back surely he could just ask there and then. Seems like he keeps putting it back and back. He also puts in very little effort until I am showing interest in someone else, then he makes me feel guilty with how "loyal" he is. Just can't wait around like this forever not knowing where I stand but feeling guilty for trying to move on.

Please I need help. If you have information about psychology, I need your opinion to help me analysis my character. Back in 2018 , I used to be in a relationship with a married man. I have never imagined myself to be in a relationship with a married man and I have always been against mistresses because I see them as a threat to family etc. So , I considered this married man as a friend only and nothing more but then we fell in love together , and many dramas happened from his wife’s side. I used to have mixed feelings toward his wife ( jealousy and also sympathy toward her ) . Then we broke up although we talked to each other from time to time. In 2020, I decided just to forget about him at all and I have been in a new relationship with a single young man who is my age, and I felt really guilty of what I did to my ex-boyfriend’s wife and I profoundly regretted. Then , my ex-married boyfriend came back again , and he said he missed me and he will never forget me , instead of being a great woman and learned just from the lesson because as I said I really regretted. I just like what he said to me and I didn’t block him or anything , in fact I said to him nice words too? . I don’t know what’s wrong with me and why I’m like that , at the same time , I feel jealous in my current relationship and I’m attracted to my boyfriend. Why am I like that?